~* IT'S THE LOVER, NOT THE LOVE *~

What me and my friends have been YM confy'ing about lately has made me realize some basic theories that I strongly feel are true to almost everyone who has fallen in love at one point or another in this mad, mad world. After all, I believe that people come into our lives for a reason. They have a purpose in your life whether they stay with you for the long haul or just briefly make a cameo. In the hundreds of people that we will meet during our lifetime, there will be a handful who are destined to leave an indelible mark in your heart and soul. Whether it's been a good or bad relationship and whether you like it or not, that person will be written in your own little history. In the same way, you will also be inevitably in theirs.

YOUR ONE GREAT LOVE: He will always be the person who'll remain in your heart forever. You wistfully look back and remember the magical moments, the ecstacy, the bliss, the pure, pure love that you have shared. You have given your 100% to this person. When you were with him, you believed you could achieve great things together. You felt safe with him. He was your shelter from the storm. He was the lighthouse that guides you. He was your "home". The love you felt was so deliriously great that you almost thought it was a dream. There may be some things that you didn't like about him but you accepted him for all that he was simply because you loved him.


THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY: There will always be some nights when you will be tortured with the "what if"s and "what could have been"s. You regret leaving or letting go of that person. He used to be yours but now he's forever gone. Because of your pride, stupidity, irrationality or stubbornness, you have lost this person. You fervently wish you could bring him back in your arms but current circumstances make this highly improbable. Sometimes you wish you met him now instead of before because now you are a better, more mature person who can better handle a relationship with him. You two just had the right love at the wrong time.

THE ONE WHO SUCKED OUT THE ROMANCE IN YOU: This is a person you used to love but now hate and/or blame for making you what you are now: a jaded/cynical miserable/lonely beeeotch/drama queen. He has rudely jolted you back to grim reality. Now you think that Disney and the rest of Hollywood is a bad, bad entity who deluded you to believe that there is that one person in the world destined for you. The one true love. Your soul mate. THE ONE. The truth is, maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll find happiness in a special someone, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be knocked off your feet and be swept away by your knight in shining armor, maybe you won't. Deep down inside you hope but you don't exactly hold your breath for it. You have grown tired of waiting and searching. You have virtually given up on love. You've set yourself up for disappointment so that there will be less tears, less pain when the thing you fear the most actually happens. You don't allow yourself to be consumed by endless worrying whether you'll end up alone or not. But despite everything, this person had made you strong in some way. You can put your chin up and bravely face whatever fate slaps you with because you know you'll be alright, whether attached or unattached.

THE ONE WHO BROKE YOUR HEART THE BADDEST: He has given you the worst heartbreak ever. You are not sure if time can heal all wounds. You don't know IF and WHEN you will be over him. There are no more words to describe how much your heart aches. Loving him has been a battle and you ended up with scars. But as they say, if someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them. Forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

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"Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help create who you are and who you become. "

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"Don't become angry with or resentful of the people who come to play in our healing dramas. God does not always send you what you think you want. God will send you what you need in order to heal.

In the meantime, you must remember that just when things look like they are falling apart, they are actually falling into place -- the divine place they should be for everyone involved." ~In The Meantime

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"There are too many mediocre things in life and love should not be one of them. Anything less than mad, passionate love is a waste of time."~ Dream for an Insomniac

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It's the lover (not the love) who broke your heart last night
It's the lover (not the dream) that didn't work out right
If you listen to your heart, you'll know it's true
that it's the lover not the love who deserted you.
~ It's the Lover Not the Love (Tiffany)