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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

~* DRAMARAMA: THE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE LIGHT *~

So I've been pretty much depressed lately and I'm making a wild guess that it's coz my birthday is coming up again. Ahh, another year. One step closer to the edge of the calendar days. And still freaking single. Fudge.

I remember the last time Abbie, Tin and I went out drinking (Charo, we missed you that night!)... we were supposed to watch Music & Lyrics but we were so bummed out with our personal dramas that we decided to just drink and talk the night away. After that, I resolved that I might as well start saving up and hope to be filthy rich when I'm older so that I can at least be artificially happy with an obscenely expensive vacation or whatever uneconomical material thing money can buy. I will always go back to that Dogbert mantra : "The key to happiness is self-delusion. Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Can you smell the pessimism in the air?

Well anyway, I think the positive effect that my freaking-out-about-turning-29 has brought upon me was that I've learned to be *super* financially-conscious. I've read these two bestselling locally-authored books (one was by Francisco Colayco and the other by Efren Cruz) that teach one how to be financially prepared and be responsible in terms of handling moolah. Sorta like a Rich Dad, Poor Dad kind of thing (though I haven't read this book yet). Last year, I was done with paying off a pre-need plan (a term life insurance which has a lump sum amount at its maturity date which I can opt to just let them keep for my future pension plan). This month, I applied for a life insurance with endowment and dividend payouts which I can also just opt to accumulate til I'm retired from work. And then I re-evaluated my liquidity as well as net worth and have done some measures to save up some more moolah on the bank and also some investment on mutual fund stocks. Basically, I'm trying to make compounding interest work for me. I have also religiously listed down my expenses and have come up with a monthly budget. Not a strict budget though coz I just blew some money buying new office pants and this cute bandeau for summer. Arghh. Got. to. fight. the. shopping. spirit.

Now back to turning 29 and still not *categorically* moving on...

It just sucks how some people just pop up out of nowhere when you think you are almost there at the finish line where it says "Congratulations, you have *finally* moved on!". Whatever popped up last 02.16 is still in my freaking inbox. Why did I not delete it?! (I am scolding myself and I'm figuratively banging my head on the desk in disgrace.) And whatever THAT was disappeared into thin air the same way as it came -- quicker than the brown fox that jumped over the lazy dog.

I remember hearing Chico and Delamar talking about viewing someone in a negative light in order to let them go. (The topic was the Top 10 Break-up Lyrics...) Yeah. I think I did that already. I remember being *very* pissed to the point of feeling animosity towards a person. And boy, look at me now! Gee, that sure worked *rolls eyes*.

Anyway, I was multiply'ing and saw this post from a friend of a friend: "The sadness you will feel once someone is taken away from you is directly proportional to how happy you were when you were with that person."

So do I still have a long way to go? Dammit, where the heck is that friggin' finish line?!?

4 comments:

charo said...

aileen i think i know who 'popped up' last 2/16, we met up with him last weekend...or maybe im wrong =)

~*lilacstardust*~ said...

charo: ahhh, you know so much ;-)

tin said...

ahhh... eto yung mga pinaguusapan nyo kanina. hehehe. gets ko na.

Abbie eXcites said...

"The sadness you will feel once someone is taken away from you is directly proportional to how happy you were when you were with that person."

Shiyeeeet! When I first read that line you wrote, my reaction was: "NO! I cannot be THAT happy with him because I am so ALONE (and sad) now."

Well, hang in there. If it's any consolation...Tin and I are here. Your entry made me sad. Payaman na nga lang tayo, mga lech na yan!