<bgsound src=''></bgsound>

Friday, April 30, 2004


Hay. I swear. I was sooo brain-dead today. I got home from last night's Bagaberde gig at about 3:15 am. Winner. Tapos I woke up at 6am to go to work. My YM status was "sumkinda brain-dead" ;P. Hmmm. Made lil booboos at work. Hay good thing my guy boss was pointing out to me the wrong names and stuff I've been writing to my email to Kodak Hong Kong. Wahaha. I am sooo gonna get myself fired (oh well NOT really! The words are just for dramatic effect...) if I go to work again as brain-dead as I was today. Hell, I am typing this and editing lotsa typos every other sec... and.... I am typing this feeling sleepy and spaced out but hey I waaaant to blog this now so whatdya care.

So why oh why am I brain dead? Holy cow I just spelled brain-dead as "brean dead" just now. I edited it of course. Gaah. My typing fingers are not working.

So I was not supposed to come to the Bagaberde gig of the 'fellas coz I had no idea how to get there and how to get home after. But anyway, since it was like Lucy-girl's b-day gig thang, I couldn't resist coming. I was like, bahala na kung pano ako uuwi. I was thinkin' of asking Robi if I could hitch back to the south with him but I was too shy to ask. So Teena asked him for me. It was totally no prob with Robi so A-OK, I had a ride home :) But man, that was the most freakin looong gig I've ever been too. Grrrr. Coz Aliya Parcs came in late so she started her set late and then she performed 2 sets straight while the guys had one more set to go (after her). Her double set lasted till like 1-ish am already. I could not freakin go home early coz Robi was my ride home nga. I was too scared to hail a random cab outside Bagaberde so I pretty much stayed on for the last set along with Teena and Ehra. Lucy, Peachy, Sarah and Mika went home before the 2nd set could start.

All the while we stayed at the band room, I pretty much realized how being such artists was quite taxing to the guys but hey, they awesomely pull it off. (If you saw them on stage during the 2nd set which started around 1am already, they still gave their 100%.) Red somewhat fell asleep sitting down, after eating dinner. Reubs was studying for school stuff the next day. Myke made a comfy bed out of three lined-up chairs.

There was an MTV plug shoot earlier in the night before their 1st set started. It was, I presume, for the Rock the Vote campaign thingie. Pau was squinting like anything coz he couldn't read the script that was being flashed in front of them. Myke didn't bother reading it at all coz I guess it was also hard to read from where he stood.

Hmm. Trivia for the day accdg. to Teena: the guys love kangkong.

They pretty much got fried by the low-hanging stage lights. Sweat galore. Tissue paper galore. Hmm. How many times have I used the phrase "pretty much" on this blog entry? Hay. I'm still brain-dead.

Oooh. New song at laaaast! "It's Over Now" by uhhh, 112, I think?

So after the show (finally, after 10 years...), back inside the band room I was telling Pau that his hair looks better if it's all gelled up rather than how he wore his hair that night gel-less. He went into a detailed explanation of how his bangs were too long to be gelled up and too short to be worn just down as is. Was making beso na to everyone to say goodbye. Hmm, never ever beso'ed Myke ever. Everyone but Myke. Ikey's face was still sweaty so we like had a virtual beso na lang. Oh and by the time I was saying goodbye to Reubs, his face was still awash with sweat so I made a squeamish face and said "aaack!" so he kissed na lang my cheeks. Sweat-free but not laway-free. ;) Ahhh so cute.

So anyway Pau pala was riding home with Robi coz they were both from Ayala Alabang. Pau asks me like what are my parents saying about me being out so late. "Ahh they don't care!" I joked. He asked how I usually go home. When I said I take those AVIS cabs, he said: "But doesn't that cost like a thousand or something?" I said not. And he goes into this concerned inquiry like if I know ba daw self-defense like karate, if I have tear gas or something. I replied "No" to all that he mentioned so he asks "So what do you do for protection or something?" "Oh I pray!", I replied.

So there was I, riding in a car (uhh was that a CRV or RAV? I can't remember anymore. Basta SUV sya...) with them boys. (Uhmm, Riding in Cars with Boys - Drew Barrymoore movie with Adam Garcia of Coyote Ugly fame. Oh but I digress... sorry...). So Pau goes: "So... where do you study?" and Robi interrupts, "Man, she's workin' already!" And I could imagine in the semi-darkness inside the SUV the look of disbelief in Pau's face. Haha. He thought I was just 17 or something. Coz I was mixing very well daw with sina Sybil. And the way I talk and the way I sound and the way I look daw. Hahaha. He was pretty much surprised that I was already 26 and older than him and Robi! So there, Animo La Salle! Woohoo! We're both La Sallites :)

Some conversations:

Pau: "Hey I like the photos you posted"
Me: "Which one?"
Pau: "The one at Teena's..."

Pau: "Do yo u know Photoshop?"
Me: "Yeah, that's what I do with your pictures before I post them. I remove your, uhhh, sweat stains and stuff."
Pau: "Oh! Thank you! Thank you!" *sounding really grateful ha*
Me: "Oh, but for the record, I never touched your photos... it's always just Reubs' ..."

Pau: "Can you like, remove my double chin?"
Robi: "Me too, me too!"
I said I dunno how to do that. Bka I might end up ruining the pic. Pau said I could use the smudge tool for that. I said it's the clone stamp which I always use with their pics.
Pau goes: "Oh yeah! Yeah! The clone stamp tool is cool/rocks!"
Me: "Yeah, it's a pretty cool tool.... the clone stamp tool roooocks!"
Robi: "The whaaat?"
Pau and Me: "THE CLONE STAMP TOOL!!!!"
*Then Pau goes into explaining what it is to Robi.*

I asked what were his plans after graduation. He said he might go and get a real job coz he can't get allowance off his parents anymore. Or maybe he might study some more.

Best gig place: The new Dish in The Loop daw. The sound system is great daw kasi.

Pau wants one of those professional digital SLRs like the one that was used daw during their album's photo shoot.

Robi likes Brandy's "Come a Little Bit Closer" song... nice harmony and stuff daw that sana they could do. I go: "Oh, so Brandy's still alive huh."

Robi is thinking of getting a place near Roger's or something coz it's getting pretty expensive for him going to work at Wave 89.1 all the way from Alabang. He tells Pau that he could bunk with him. One bed. Hahaha! Pau goes into a discourse of how Robi does whatever he wants with Pau (something to that effect), Pau complains that he's not a toy... But I said: "Ahhh, you're Robi's boytoy!" :P

Aww, it was such a fun ride home. I asked to be dropped off at the taxi stand in ATC. The two were like super mega concerned about me going home in a cab. Robi repeatedly said: "Text me when you get home" and I said "Uhhh, but our fone's sira diba?" Hmm, it's fixed na daw. So as in they super mega waited till I was inside and all settled in the cab before they mega-waved goodbye to me. Awww cute! :)

Thursday, April 29, 2004


Had a blast in last night's fun, fun, fun EB at Teena's place (Valle Verde 5). Met newbies (arghh, I can't remember all of their names... man, I am soooo bad with names...) and then spent the whole night being kooky and everything :)

The AKAkada babes! woohoo!

We started off with the awarding ceremony (with sashes for the awardees! haha!). Hehe, I got the "Resident Photographer" award. Pinangatawanan ang pagiging taga-Kodak! *teehee*

The AKAkada awardees (uhhh some of the titles I'm not so super sure exactly...): Tere (Doktora Tere ng Bayan), Sarah (AKAnalyzer), TitoDaddy Kiko- the dad of Reubs (Daddy Groovy).

The AKAfellas' awards were: Smiley Spongebob Ikey, Khembot Rhed (take note of the "H", hahaha!), Soap Opera King Reuben, Melismatic Karl, Huggable Bear Robi, Alien Myke, Mr. Body Shop Paulo, Mr. Suave Roger and... Windang Manager Franco! :P

Franco *looking a bit "lost"*: "Uhh, guys, what's windang?"

After the snapshots above, I basically lived up to the title and took photos of everyone. Here are my faves... ahhh the fellas were so game all throughout the night :P Si Reubs, mega-pose as always... Si Myke, I swear, the way he made his sash into a pretty bow, hay, alien lang talaga makakaisip na gawin yun ;P

We had this game wherein we had to translate the English AKAfellas song into Tagalog and vise-versa. I was grouped with DJ Myke and Karl, plus Leslie and Richel. We got HARANA. Syemps, Myke was a riot with the crazy translation! It went something like this ('couldn't remember the exact translation anymore...):

The tree is heaven of the stars
(Puno ang langit ng bituin)
And the breeze at freezing point
(At kay lamig pa ng hangin)
With your first glance I am getting psychotic, my love
(Sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw, giliw)
And in this very song of mine, I hope you like it
(At sa awitin kong ito, sana'y maibigan mo)
I will pour my whole cardiovascular system
(Ibubuhos ko ang buong puso ko)
In this microscopic serenade just for you...
(Sa isang munting harana, para sa yo...)

Other "lost in translations" for the night:

Pau's Mr. Suave:

Ako si Mr. Suave, Oooh, grabe = I am Mr. Suave (pronounced in English), Oooh gosh!

Robi's Bongga Ka Day:

Hala! = Oh no!
Bongga ka day! = Maid you're so great!
Sige lang, sige lang = Go on, go on
Itaas ang kilay = Raise your eyebrows

Ang gulo-- I swear!!! Red indulged us with his ever-famous kembot and body wave moves. Grabe he was sooo enjoying dancing! Roger sang with a high-pitch! Myke did his famous straddle jump ("Aray. Masakit!" daw) and Reubs imitated it after a coupla pa-cute poses for my camera. And then Robi made this thank you speech on behalf of the Akafellas (sya daw yung other half ;P). He was saying in a certain part of his speech something like "we owe you our lives/we offer our lives to you.." and Myke goes something like: "Oh?! Isugal ba pati buhay namin? Sayo lang noh." And of course, let's not forget Sarah's anti-climactic ringing tone :D

It was such a blast. We had potluck (the Red Ribbon empanadas I brought were wiped out by the guys. Pagkita ko isa na lang natira!). As usual, Reubs was pretty much the life of the party coz he was very very game in all the activities we did. Awww, Robi hugged all of us to death as usual ;) *huggy-wuggy robiiiiii*

I pretty much wasn't in the pictures in my digicam coz I was snapping the shots. I've probably got more pics on Tere's and Teena's cam. So anyway, I just had to have a pic with some of the guys dba so uhhh hmm, I made kuhit kay Pau and Red ;P Hay. Pau's hair looks better when gelled up.

Oh, and Franco managed to drop by, as in dropped by for like 10 minutes right before the guys left.

Such a great non-gig interaction with everyone :)...

Monday, April 26, 2004


'Just had our company outing last Sat. (which happened to be the b-day of my dad!) at this new resort called Kidzworld in Cavite. I brought along my mom, dad and nephew. Swam, swam, swam by the whirlpool and then took some nice pictures...

Behind is the golf course...

Me and my lame attempt at wallclimbing...

Dad and me...

Me, Mom and Dean...

Spider-Dean in full spidey swim gear...

Me on the freakin' hot-to-the-butt colorful pretty tiles...

I love the swirly effect of this staircase....

By the pool's bridge...


Ooh I just luv taking artsy pictures! ;)

Sunday, April 25, 2004


Got myself a Bluetooth dongle thingiemajig and I Bluetoothed to death the whole afternoon. Mp3 ringing tones (Incubus galore and some funky R &B tunes... Ahhh, I soooo luv that "One Call Away" by Chingy ringtone I made!) and message alert (AKAkada: I ripped Pau's "Guys, one more time" off the Harana track and made it my SMS alert. Hehe! And uhmm, ripped Smooth for the phone's mp3 player so I can listen to it anytime I feel like I need some welcome distraction or anytime I have some spare time to *sigh* ...), images for the wallpaper (Brandon Boyd and Scott Speedman galore! ... the Reality Bites movie poster...)

Ahhh. 'Toothing rocks.

Thursday, April 22, 2004


I just got my new phone about an hour ago. Ahhh, my coveted Nokia 6230!!! Yey!!!! Hmm, so I tried it out and fiddled with it. Okaaaay, this is gonna take some time to get used to. My current phone is the primitive Nokia 3510 so, uhhh, I am not used to the MMS, camera, etc thingiemajigs yet. Oh fudge.

I wanna start using it alreaddddyyyyyy! But, there are still some stuff to do before it's all ready for use:

1. Activate the GPRS/WAP thing
2. Enable the MMS thing
3. Buy the connectivity cable or an infrared thingie or a bluetooth thingie for my PC. (holy crap, the thing's expensive! grrr.)
4. Install the PC Suite and drivers and stuff.
5. Transfer all the freakin' data on my old phonebook to this new one. Hmmm, I think I can do that easily with the PC Suite but I would need that freakin cable/infrared to transfer data fr my PC to phone and vise-versa.
6. Prepare those customized ringtones ripped from my mp3s. Man, this will take quite some time. Gaah.
7. Get those pix for the phone's wallpaper.
8. Rip my fave mp3s to 96Kbps in order to have a smaller file size which will save me some space on the MMC.
9. Finally, learn how to work the damn hi-tech phone. I am a "manual person" therefore, I will read the stupid manual.

Did I forget something?*wonders*

I am sooo booked this weekend (and next week!) and I tend to be sooo sleepy at night (and I do a lot of online stuff...) that I don't think I can have my new phone up and running by Monday :(

Oh well.

*happy*happy*joy*joy* :)

Wednesday, April 21, 2004


And in this moment I am happy, happy.
I wish you were here.

~ Wish You Were Here, Incubus

April 19th, approaching midnight.We were SMS'ing forever. He was saying these sweet things. I was thinking, wow, thanks God, thanks for your wonderful birthday gift. In my handwritten journal it reads:

So is it true when they say that soul mates go through their own lives, living in preparation for their meeting? I think I believe that. As we live our lives, in God's weird way, we are preparing ourselves for the culmination-- FINALLY BEING RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER.

All the problems that we encounter, all the people that we meet, all the happiness and sorrow we experience, all our relationships, in one way or another, mold us into the best person we can ever be for our soulmate.


Well my heart still aches, but in a good way, so I'm okay :)

Yeah, I'm missing you too. I wish you were here...

Talaga. Alam mo you're so bait that's why na nagtataka ako kung bakit di ka pa nagkaka-bf.

Naiiyak naman ako sayo.... I just thought that God would give the person to me in His own time.

Sorry if I said that. Pero siguro God already gave you one, and He also gave me you.

Don't be sorry, I'm crying in a good way.

Talaga. Hope that you'll think different sa akin, compared sa mga barkada ko. Coz iba talaga ako sa kanila.

*At around 1:45 am, he realizes it's my b-day and greeted me with matching mwah mwah mmmmmwah!

I'm very much comfortable with you. Sana you too. Hope you're here with me right now so I can hug and kiss you. Ok lang ba? Wag ka magalit ha. Bday mo naman eh;)

Ya, what's different nga with you is that I feel very comfortable around you. Like, I just have to be myself when I'm around you. Cge na nga, k na b-day hug/kiss... pero dahil b-day ko lang ha :P

Sana I can come and see you tonight. Para kiss and hug kita coz it's your b-day. Enjoy ha. Mwah.


And the sad part is, that was a year ago.

He didn't greet me yesterday. I dunno if he deliberately did not greet me or if he forgot. Last Oct. 2 '03, when it was his birthday, I waited until the evening before I texted him an emotionless 'Happy b-day'. No period, no exclamation point, no smiley.

This morning, he texted me a similarly emotionless greeting: 'Happy b-day to you.' I just said 'Tnx!'. I typed in a smiley but I erased it. It hurts to erase it but I still did. I did not want to feel ANYTHING at all. If I had to be devoid of feelings, so be it. A smile can thaw a frown but a frown can freeze a smile. It would just hurt again if we went beyond being civil to each other. We are not even friends anymore like before -- pre-MUwhatchamacallit time. We ended up being less than friends. Tiptoeing around each other's feelings. Eternally conscious of what had happened but forever cautious not to ever go into that road again. The ending was that I forgave him after somewhat understanding the Houdini stunt he pulled on me. But let it be known that yes, he sincerely said sorry a lot of times but he NEVER EVER told me directly why he left.

Ahh. Men--they screw up your life big time. They sweep you off your feet, and then they scar you for life. And then you are left alone, ever so bravely trying to be whole again... sincerely trying so hard not to bitch and be jaded about love after all the crap you've been served.

There. That's the story of the bitchy drama queen. I thank you.


Since the fellas had a gig at Dish last night, it was a pretty great b-day night for me. After the confusion of whether the guys would be at Powerplant or ABS-CBN ('even disturbing Franco with an SMS... and also Teena & Lucy, hehe), there we were finally... at Dish Powerplant. Hmm, lemme just make a roll-call of those whom I missed there: Charo, Abbie, Rose, Shepot, Jako, Hogi, Tere, Sybs, June.

So it was basically just me, Teena, Mika and Lucy. 'Turns out Maika was also celebrating her b-day there. Peachy was there. Then I met Tita Sherbet & Tito Sonny and Jill... we sat in one table.

Rockin Revival (those old dudes who sang oldies), who performed before the fellas, was quite a torture to hear so we hung around outside. I brought some homemade cookies for the fellas since I can't really treat them for dinner like what I did with Teena, Mika & Lucy. We went to the band room backstage to give it to the guys. Beso galore and then they greeted me. Pau "attacked" the cookie plasticware... He raved on and said it was really good, "Mmmm... pistachios?! Mmm!" Mr. Mossimo Bikini Summit 1st Runner Up Myke was making these funny poses... lifting his shirt and showing off his abs and bulging out his tummy intentionally. Franco walked in, beso'ed us all and greeted me "Happy B-day Sweetie" (or something, Darling, whatever terms of endearment he usually says...)

Hmmm, it got a bit suffocating inside the room coz ay naku, bastaaaah. :P A very funny moment... as in everyone was going "woooooo!" >:P Haha!

Okay, so onstage, they greeted me and Maika. And then a bit later into the show, Robi went: "And now we'd like to call these two special ladies... blah" Waaah. They made me and Maika go up front! And horror of horrors, they sang *NOooooooooo* Bongga Ka Day to us! Ayayayayay. After the show, I was telling Robi: "YOU KNOW I LUV THAT SONG! You know I luv that song!" in pure sarcasm. Wahaha. Gaah. No Diggity would have been a more welcome choice of song. Haha!

Here are the pix (thanks Mika & Teena for taking the pix!) :

With Lucy-girl...

With Mika...

With Teena...

With Peachy...


... daw...

... kami ni Maika!

With PauloNav...

Us birthday gals with Franco-baby...

With Robi...

*I have a new crush!* I have a weakness for nice ____. Basta, Teena, dba? ;P I-serve ba daw kasi to us on a silver platter, so to speak.... hmmm.*

After the usual hugs n' beso galore after the show, I hitched a ride with Teena (thanks!) and Mika to Park Square so I could get an AVIS cab there. Got home at 1:30am. 'Didn't sleep yet coz I had to fix my stupid blogspot template which has gone unfathomably weird yesterday. 'Finally slept around 3AM. Great. I am sooo quasi-brain-dead now. And damn the eyebags. Hmm.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

~*HMP, HMP*~

Haaaay nakuuuu. Grrrr. Sinasabi ko na nga ba eh. Hmp, hmp. That's why there's such a thing as BIRTHDAY LEAVE!!! ... So you won't have to be majorly pissed off by work-related stuff (customer complaints, "slow" (read: stupid) maintenance people, and all other sorts of everyday crap that Murphy's law dictates). Gaaah. I had to work today coz my team is out of the country having their Asean Sales Conference. I had to babysit all our whiny showbiz/commercial customers. Anyway, a coupla minutes more before I get off work. Juuuust a little more sacrifice....

Oh well, anyway, I was pretty much cheered up by the AKAkada greeting me via Robi over at Wave this afternoon (I was like, waaaitaminute... did I just hear my name on air?!). Yey!!!:) And I think it was Jimmy Bondoc who joined Robi in his mini-birthday chant before he played If I Ain't Got You for me. I just put down the phone after talking to a client and I caught Robi (and Jimmy B?) saying Happy Birthday to me.

And oh, of course, my dear friends flooded my cellphone with birthday texts as early as 12ish am today ('woke me up, but it's all good!;) ). My friends (Tin/Ivy) who were residing in other countries sent me SMS. Mitzi posted her bday greeting on her Friendster Bulletin Board. And Abbie, by far you gave me the most unique form of greeting... (Magbigay-pugay ba daw sa kin sa bloggie;) hehehe!) My team from Singapore called me up during their break time from their sales con. Oh and of course that birthday thread that Hogi started on the message board! And as part of custom here in Kodak, they greeted me over the paging system. People greeted me during lunch at the cafeteria. The correct way to ask a lady is "How young are you?" and NOT "How old are you?". Kudos to that officemate who knew the proper way to greet me. AND DON'T FREAKIN' ASK ME IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!! Gaaaah. For pete's sake (who IS Pete, anywaaaay?!) spare me the singleton's curse today!

I was pretty much happy to with people who sent me simple SMS messages... these people whom I didn't even expect to remember my birthday. Very touching.

But hmp. HE and (the other) HE hasn't greeted me yet. Oh well. Kainis. But... whatever.

Monday, April 19, 2004


I just love the new single of Alicia Keys. Hmmm, I officially designate it as my 26th Birthday Song....


Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me a world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
No one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

EVERY word in the song speaks MY truth. But as to who the damn hell that "you" is in the lyrics, don't ask me... I haven't the faintest idea either!;P

Sunday, April 18, 2004

~*THE 80'S!*~

Haha. I couldn't resist joining the fashion bandwagon--I bought two sets of glam plastic 80's earrings last Friday! I know it will fizzle out in a coupla months, but anyway, the 80's look is back for now!

Ahh, me wants the Cyndi Lauper look. I remember last December's company X'mas party... our group was assigned to the 80's era... it was soooo fun to dress up in 80's garb! It was fun to wear shocking, bright-colored eye make-up, have my hair super-teased and bop around plus lip-sync to "Girls, Just Wanna Have Fun".

Ahh, the 80's look is so fun and uhhh, chirpy!

Gaaah. I can only be an 80's chick though during the weekends or maybe on gimmick nights... *must resist wearing my 80's earrings in the office...*

Come one, come all!
Into nineteen eighty-four...

~ Talk Shows on Mute, Incubus

Saturday, April 17, 2004


My family had a triple celebration today: My mom & dad's anniv (Apr 14), my b-day (Apr 20) and my dad's b-day (Apr 24). We went swimming at Mystic Valley in Pansol, Laguna.

The place:

Drat... I missed the "y" on the marqee. Hmp. 'twas ALMOST perfect!

Family pictures:

(R1) Dad & Mom, 31st Anniv!; With Dean, my 8 yr.old nephew; Me and my 80's earrings -- after swimming.
(R2) Dad, Mom and me (pa-cute!); Ahh, the family's divas: my sis, Mom and me :)
(R3) Me and Ate Chinkee; Me, my sis and her hubby, Joel

My artsy-fartsy pics:

"A chic-a-cherry-cola."~ I Want You, Savage Garden
I'm not a big cola fan but I luvvv cherry coke ;)

Ahhh. Yummy cool halo-halo for dessert!:)

An abandoned lifesaver...

This weird rock formation has always been there since I was a child. I remember gazing at it in awe everytime we pass by it. I took this shot by the perimeter wall of the resort.

I noticed this goat munching on one of the trees in the resort. It was sooo cute -- it stopped eating for a moment and gave me a pose!

My nephew and I stalked some goats by the parking area... I think the one on the left was the same goat-with-star-quality which I took a picture of earlier...

This cat was lurking under our cottage bench. Teehee, I went under our table to get this photo ;)

The same cat resting by our cottage sink. *I was still under the table...*

'Twas a totally fun family day. And I liked all the pictures from this day!!!*happy-happy, joy-joy* :)

Thursday, April 15, 2004


I am 28% evil.

I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.

Are you evil? find out at

Okaaaay. And to think I was expecting to get something like at least 40% evil! *bwahaha*


Aww. My guy boss was so sweet today... he cooked lotsa callos over the weekend and then he brought us one big tupperware of callos for lunch! All four of us shared it for lunch. Mmmm. He makes a pretty damn good callos. Gaaah. Sinfully unhealthy, I know! But heck, it was so deeleesh so who cares about cholesterol?


Saw MXY Presents INCUBUS when I got home around 9pm. Oooh, Brandon Boyd is sooo hottt. *more mind-molesting...hahaha!* Jose got a bit chubby so he was not as cute as before. And Mike Einziger!!! Awww, he's so, uhmm, fuzzy-wuzzy... he looks like an adorable troll.

Gaaah. Can I just say... I just wanna boink the head of that super arte VJ Karell (whatever the spelling is). Gaaah. VJ Heart and Karell is just so.. ughhh... disgustingly TRYING to be cute. And hello??? Mag gush lang daw ba forever si Karell while the Incubus Press Con was going on behind her? Yes, the whole universe knows that Boydie is hot but hellooo, you are a VJ, you are supposed to say smart, relevant, comprehensible stuff when you're "annotating" an event on air. Gaaah, a valley girl airhead!

Oh and Heart? Yes, I think she's pretty but yuck, all the while she is trying to project this wholesome, pa-tweetums image... but helloooo, somebody took her pics in this bar... this was after the Incubus gig... and OMG, she looked like she was drunk and was openly and heavily making out with her boyfriend. (Hey Abbie, the guy's from Sta. Rosa daw???) For pete's sake, get a room!

Okay. That was my bitchy gossip for the day.


Arghhh. I just caught a view of this drama on TV when I just got home. Yuuuuck. Of all the people I'll see, I saw Angelica dela Cruz. Ewwww. She looks like an annoying female version of Astroboy. She also looks like a sickeningly *trying to be* sweet version of Tweety.

Ok, while we're on celebrity look-alikes... Pia Guanio disturbingly looks like Stuart Little.


You know what I find annoying? This guy on my friendster who *pathetically* keeps posting "Pahingi ng testi" like every other day. I mean, yes, it would sure be nice to get nice testimonials, but to pathetically beg for it almost every day and SPAM my friggin' bulletin board?!? Gaaah. C'mon, get a life dude!

Hmm. I can't freakin' delete him coz he's a cousin of mine. Grrr.


Hmm. Some people just don't know proper email etiquette. I mean, isn't it annoying to get a forwarded email where aaaaalll the previous "To-From" lines are still on the email body? I am not interested to see how far the email has "travelled" online so can people just delete all the "to-from" lines/ original path thingiemajigs and just spare me the agony of scrolling for a good 30 secs. before I actually read that lame thing you sent me?

And for pete's sake, save your friends from spam by using blind carbon copy (bcc:) instead of broadcasting everyone's email address on the "to:" and "cc:" line!

Oh and another thing... use your common sense when hitting the "Reply" and the "Reply to All" button!!! I mean, what do I care about your friggin' shirt size?!? I don't friggin' care what your shirt size is. In fact, noooobooody cares about your friggin' shirt size!!! You only have to reply to our team captain who asked you about it. The rest of the team doesn't give a damn if you are S, M, L, or XL. It's simple--if I am not at all concerned about it or if I will not be affected by what you are saying in any direct, drastic way, chances are-- I don't friggin' care about it!!! So do not spam my email with your stupid reply to all.

Friggin' simple, right?

Okaaay. That was the annoyed yahooligan/lotus notes user talking.


I hate it when people rant out loud when everyone already knows that something actually sucks.

So I was falling in line for the shuttle to home... The dispatcher dude didn't want us to ride the idle Urvan parked on the terminal because of some stupid reason. So anyway, most of us who were in line were already pissed off. It was pretty hot, we have been standing & falling in line for a long time, ergo, the pissed off commuters. So I was quietly cursing like hell in my mind while this lady behind me was "tsk"-ing and ranting loudly. I ignored her but in my mind I was yelling at her "Shut up, lady!". I just hate people who complain out loud when we all very well know that it IS bleepin' sh*tty already. I mean, it agitates me even more. "So shut the f*** uuuuuup!!!"

And then, so were in the process of sitting ourselves in the van... and this same lady complains loudly again about her being seated at the back. Gaaah. In my mind: "Grrr. Will you just shut up and take your seat?!? If you don't want to sit there then get the hell out of this van! Grrrr." or... "Grrr, can you just stop complaining. SHADDDDAP!!!" Gaaah. Stupid whiny a**.

Gaaah. I was a pissed commuter today.

Monday, April 12, 2004


Gaaah. My holiday is almost over. Wow, I haven't been working for *SIX* days!*woohoo* I'm on vacation leave today and I am savoring the last few blissful hours of my work-free day.

Owww. I think I just got carpal tunnel syndrome (hypochondriac!) I have been in front of my PC for like 80% of the time these past few days. I'm trying to finish the pages of my revamped website. It's taking waaaay too hard coz I totally switched from *frames* layout to *tables*. Gaaaah. Oh but it's gonna be a kick-ass new version! I changed my navi buttons, put some cool mouse-overs with audio, put some new artsy pictures, changed my web banner and side bar. *excited* I can't wait to upload 'em! But, errmmm, I HAVE to wait. *toinks self* I'm like just a bit over halfway done only. Gaaah. Like, about 12 more pages to revamp...

SHAMELESS PLUG: Ahhh, I can't believe it's just 8 days to go til my birthday. Oh fudge. I am already knocking on 30's door. Turning 26 can be very emotionally traumatic. Hmp!

Sunday, April 11, 2004



Abbie texted me this morning and told me that Jay R is on Phil. Star. today... a Ricky Lo article. Grrr. We don't have Phil Star here at home and I was too lazy to go out and buy one coz it was so bleepin' hot. I just remembered about it again now (11:30pm). I found the online version of the article: But alas, there was not a single yummy Jay R photo on the web page. Grrrr. Abbie said there was/were picture(s) of Jay R. ( *Oh Abbieeeeee... you said you'd email me a jpeg, right? pretty please? *bats eyelashes like crazy*)


What do you have that other singers don't?

"I think..." (Breaking into a wide smile) " American accent. There's a lot of very good singers here but very few have American accent."

*** Oooh yeah. He does sound extra-sexy with that Am-boy accent (sigh) ***

You could be a bold actor.

"Ay, hindi po!"

Why not? You have the body for it. If and when, what would make you drop your pants?

"None that I can think of."

*** DRAT!!!! Sayang!!!****

What if, ehem, the price is right?

"Price has nothing to do with it. But then..." (Adding with a laugh) "...I could get carried away in a scene and it just might happen. You know what could happen if your adrenaline is high."

***Oh yeah, baby! Now yer talkin'...***

Are you vain? Most good-looking guys are, you know.

"I'm an exception. No, I'm not vain at all."




Got a text from Tere around 10:30pm: "Psst. Gising ka pa? Watch MTV. NOW."

I quasi-fainted the moment I switched the channel to MTV. Gaaaah. HIS ROYAL HOTNESS was on MTV. It was MTV's AFTER SKOOL ROCKS which featured heavenly Brandon Boyd *triple sigh* and Mike Einzeger (teehee, I suddenly remembered the girls holding the BIG sign during the Incubus gig last March... it read: MIKE, YOU ARE OUR HOT DANCER -- an homage to an old Incu song "You Will Be A Hot Dancer" which I absolutely have no idea how it sounds like. Oh well... moving on...) Twas a hosting thingiemajig for After Skool Rocks. They talked about their vids and stuff. I'm not too sure though if it was taped here in the MTV Phils. studios or in MTV Singapore. Hmmm. I envy the lucky camera man whoever he is. I hope he's not bading though or he must have already mind-molested my dear Brandon.


Mike was talking about "music video suckdom" (hmm, "suckdom"... I like that term!). They were proud to say that they NEVER had a video wherein they played in a FAKE stage with a FAKE crowd who pretended to like them. It was just not them, accdg. to Boydie-dear. HAHA. There are indeed lotsa vids of pop rock bands with fake stage and fake groupies. I wonder if Blink 182's and Simple Plan's were REAL.... hmmm.

So basically, Tere and I were texting each other about how elated (ecstatic, even. I was in throes of palpitation...) we were feeling as we were watching yummy Brandon Boyd. There were some gushing, sighing, fainting and kissing of the TV screen... Ahhh, Brandon-blissssss. ;)

Grrrr. Tere, I checked both the MTV ASIA and the MTV PHILS. schedule online... I can't freakin find a replay! *sob, sob* Weird coz I was looking at today's schedule and it didn't even say "After Skool Rocks" for the 10ish time slot. The schedule indicated MTV Mush or sumthin'. Weirdness. I HATE INACCURACY!!! Hmp, hmp... you incompetent webmasters you!!! Grrrr.


Got this from an email. Pretty interesting...

If you have not seen "The Passion of Christ" or if you are planning to go and see it again, this may help you understand and relate to the many symbolism that Mel Gibson used.


These are personal notes from a group discussion with a priest called Fr. Sean of the Legionaries of Christ. The discussion took place on Friday, February 27, 2004 at the St. Joseph Center in Alhambra. Fr. Sean said he has seen the movie 6 times and that his order had a priest on the set every day that Mel Gibson was shooting the movie. Because of this, he was privy to much information about the symbolism throughout the picture. Please forgive me if the notes seem to ramble. They are merely a guide to ideas brought up in discussion that night and are by no means a comprehensive list.

1) What was the meaning of the evil baby that Satan was holding?
That image of Satan holding an ugly child is an anti-Madonna image. The child represents the future persecutions of the body of Christ, the Church. The child is ugly because evil is a deformation of good. The child is stroking the face of Satan because evil perverts what is good. The stroking symbolizes the love of evil, much like a child would love its mother, but in a perverted way. Remember this image happens when Jesus is being scourged. His body is being wounded. His body is being persecuted. It is an image used by Mel Gibson to show Satan flaunting his future plan of persecution of the Church in the face of the sacrifice of the Lord.

2) Why is this movie so violent?

The violence you see Jim Caviezel endure as Jesus is really a reflection of the violence that sin does to our souls. Violence is the effect of sin on our souls. It destroys and disfigures us. It maims us. It makes us look inhuman, ugly and hideous before the Father. The violence also represents the price of our redemption. Since Jesus took on our sin, He was made sin for us according to St. Paul, He took on the punishment of that sin. ["For our sake he made him to be sin who did not know sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him." 2 Corinthians 5:21] This is the purpose of the violence in the film, to get people to realize the price that is paid by the body of Christ when people commit sin and the price paid by the Savior to set us free.

3) There was a discussion about the Agony in the Garden scene.
Fr. Sean brought up the idea that the reason Jesus suffered in the Garden was because that is the moment He took on sin for us. St. Paul says that God the Father made Jesus "to be sin." This is the moment when it happens in the garden. Since Jesus is the Son of God and God is pure love, taking on the sin of the world, yours and mine, the sin of a Hitler, a Stalin, a Genghis Kahn, etc., was an excruciating experience for Him. At that moment, pure Love was forced to coexist with the evil effect of sin in the agony Jesus experienced in the Garden of Gethsemane.

4) In the Garden of Gethsemane, what is the snake a reference to?

Genesis 3:15 - "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." Notice that Jesus suffers immensely while Satan adds to His burden but then Jesus makes a decision to do the Father's will and with that resolve he stomps on the snake to kill it.

5) There are plenty of Mass references in this picture.

When Jesus is being stripped, the movie flashes back to the Last Supper when the bread is brought to the table and uncovered. When Jesus is being elevated on the cross after being nailed to it, we see a flashback to the Last Supper
when Jesus raises the bread and says, This is my body... The apostle John is shown as the one who remembers these flashbacks and who makes the connection between the Bread of Life on the cross and the Breaking of the
Bread at the Last Supper.

6) When is the first time we see Mary?
Just as Jesus is arrested and put into chains. She wakes up saying "Why is this night different than any other?" And Mary Magdalene responds that this is the night that they were set free from slavery. Where do these lines come from? They are the words that the youngest says to the oldest at a Jewish Passover/Seder supper ritual. In this case, the oldest was saying them to the youngest because this was THE night that would set in motion the plan of salvation to set us free from sin. The new Passover had begun with Jesus as the Lamb. Maia Morgenstern, a Jewess herself, had the idea to use these lines in the scene and when she explained them to Mel, he agreed they had to be included in the picture to tie everything together.

7) When is the first time we see a maggot?
In the Garden of Gethsemane when you see one crawling in and out of the nostril of Satan. It is a very quick scene. When do we see a maggot again? When Judas finds himself sitting next to a maggot infested mule. The maggot
represents death and corruption.

8) In this picture Pontius Pilate was portrayed sympathetically. Why so?
Mel wanted him to represent the struggle of every man when faced with moral choices. It was obvious to Pilate that Jesus was an innocent man. It was obvious to Pilate that Barabbas was corrupt. (It was no accident that
his makeup made Barabbas look even more evil and deranged.) To Pilate the right choice was obvious but he did not make it because of his own fears and the pressure from an unruly crowd he wanted to appease. Mel's message was
that every time we choose sin, the choice is always obvious like the choice between Barabbas and Jesus. Of course there are times when the temptation that approaches us is very beautiful in appearance, but down deep inside, we
know what the choice should be and very often we do exactly what Pilate did and afterwards try to wash our hands to relieve our guilt.

9) Why was there a scene when Jesus falls over the bridge only to find Judas at the bottom?
Judas has just denied Jesus in the Garden. At this moment, Judas represents every man who when faced with the truth denies it. In this scene, he represents every man who runs away from the truth and Mel Gibson wanted to remind the audience that you cannot run away and hide from the truth because the truth will always find you. In this case, Jesus has been arrested, is beaten and falls from the bridge while hanging in chains right in front of Judas. The Truth found Judas even though he had denied Him and tried to hide from Him.

10) Notice that in the picture whenever Satan is shown, he is always in the background moving behind the scenes. Notice he is always in the background whenever there is intensity and anger in the foreground directed towards Jesus. This is symbolic of his actions motivating the aggression and intensity of persecution against the Body of Christ, the Church, and also is symbolic of his responsibility behind all evil motivations.

11) When Jesus is before Pilate, He notices a dove in the sky above Him.
It represents a reminder of the vertical dimension, the relationship between man and God. We as human beings are often caught up in the horizontal dimension (relationships with men and worldly affairs) and forget there is a vertical dimension. The vertical dimension represents the spiritual life, the relationship of a soul with the Father. The vertical dimension is what is more important and the dove is a reminder to Jesus that the vertical dimension is in control despite the appearance of the situation.

12) Why do Mary and Mary Magdalene clean up the blood on the cobble stones after Jesus is scourged?
It is because it is Jewish tradition to save the blood. Life is in the blood. Blood had to be collected. This is also representative of the cleaning of the vessels at Mass when a priest is done with the consecration and giving out the Eucharist. The blood was precious and Jesus' blood particularly is precious. Notice that they also collected the instruments that made Him bleed at the very end of the film when you see the crown of thorns, the nails and the hammer at the foot of the cross as they take down the body of Jesus.

13) There is a scene at the crucifixion where Mary Magdalene is the only one who sees a miracle happen.

It is a very quick scene and it happens when she is on her knees (notice that the only ones on their knees are Mary,
John and the Magdalene at the crucifixion). Jesus has been nailed to the cross and the Romans are turning it over. You expect Jesus to smash His face into the ground when the cross falls over but it does not happen. Instead what you see is the Magdalene looking up to see that the cross is floating above the ground. She is the only one to see that Jesus is floating a few inches above the ground the entire time that they are hammering the nails on the back of the cross to secure them. It is a representation of God still in control of the whole crucifixion process.

14) Every time that Jesus meets His mother Mary along His Passion He is strengthened and has new resolve.

This is especially noticeable after Jesus is scourged the first time. The Romans have beat him over 70 times and
He has collapsed. He sees Mary and finds the strength to stand up much to the dismay and surprise of the Roman soldiers who then decide to use a more vicious whip with metal tips. This scene represents the idea that Mary is
living proof to Jesus that the sacrifice He is about to make for mankind is not in vain. The film shows that Jesus comes to a decision to continue on the path to Calvary each time they look at each other. Some say it reinforces the idea of Mary as co-redemptrix.

15) Simon of Cyrene represents every man who is faced with the cross and does not want to carry it.

He also represents those who do not want to help others carry their crosses. Yet, in this film he also represents the person who is forced to carry the cross and then becomes so engaged with Christ that he wants a deeper relationship with Him. The arms of Jesus and Simon the Cyrene are intertwined as they carry the cross together and that image
represents the efforts of each soul carrying its cross with the help of the Savior. That final look that Simon gives Jesus after he has finished helping Him, represents the longing of every soul to have a deeper relationship with the Lord after coming face to face with Him. It was through carrying the cross that Simon came to have a desire to have an
intimate relationship with Jesus much like that of the soul who longs to know Christ better in the midst of suffering.

16) Notice in the Garden of Gethsemane scene when Judas denies Jesus that the Lord never takes His eyes off of him when he denies Him. The Lord never takes His eyes off of Judas even when Judas runs away. That is representative of the Lord's own relationship with us. Jesus never takes His eyes off of us when we deny Him or turn away from Him

Man, I wanna watch that movie again!

Saturday, April 10, 2004


Awww. I miss my Forces of Nature gals. We had set a YM confy pero helloooo Abbie, you confused me girl!!! Di ko maintindihan kung 2pm ba talaga or 3pm Phils. time... I was grinning when I read your email... naaaks, may Phils. and China time, may US time and may Canada time. Winner ka -- walking world clock!!!

So anyway, when we were waiting up for Charo and Tin we put this crazy YM status messages... Ivy's read : "Where is the sex goddess?" Mine read: "Hoy Tin the Sex Goddess, Charo the Virgin Mary, where you?", and Abbie's read: "Aileen #1 Akafellas groupie!" ahahaha! Then when Tin went online, she apparently saw our status and went "What the ?!?"

Ahhh. We are indeed getting freakin old. Ivy is married and is shouting to the world that sex is good, Mitzi proclaims she is still a virgin despite being with her honey always and forever (uyyy, aminin!), Tin is asking for tips and styles... Abbie and I can only offer our humble and limited theoretical knowledge. Abbie & Aileen = all theories, no real man. Ahahahaha!

So syempre singit pa rin ang Akafellas dba! I provided the background music... the album -- so that Mitzi my US baby can hear what the hell I'm gushing about over here in Pinas. LOL, I just remembered something... In the Still of the Night was playing and Abbie goes: Akala ko "Put Your Head In My Shoulders". Hahaha! I wuuuv you Abbie-girl, you just crack me up! Oh and I remember Abbie teasing me... She pasted the link to my blog and went: "The Groupie Diaries" LMAO! ;P And then I let them hear Jay R the papalicious boytoy, Usher of the Phils. Ahahaha! Man, Mitzi, I can't believe your Howell knows Fafa Jay R pala?! Waaaaah.

Abbie, I re-read the confy transcript and I am ROTFL about that "the grind = lambada" comment you made! *gaah, strains of the lambada intro is invading my mind. Nnnoooooo!!! Heeeeelp!!!*

Quotes for the day:

If SEX lakihan pa font!
Ayan na SEX Goddess
lets await the royal bomba star
nkahilata doing lord knows what
I'm sitting na kasi natawa ko sa Groupie Diaries
Ask Aileen! Dami nya alam ---> sa akafellas! :)
Yep BUT enough aka, PLEASE
no meat = nothing by MOUTH
i would rather RECEIVE than GIVE:-P
Give and take - the rule of thumb!
salty, spicy, sweet?
Amoy clorox daw?
ah okie ___.. check! i have that!:-P
Easter Egg Special
The V Mary texted!
Hips? What hips? Parang nag-Lambada ka?
ahehe, hindi naman mala-helicopter yan ha?
waaaah i want a boylet NOOOOOOW
down girl down
ABA! Dami alam ni ex IT Guru turned Sex Guru ah!
now wtf is C???
laughing and the keyboard noise
tell him its for the eternal betterment of your sex life
waaaah. pano gumawa ng mahinhin na ____? *for future reference*
u murdered the poor ___banana girl
u smashed the banana
kasi as in mega gigil to the max ang lola
Dapat sensual ang music no!
SENSUAL ba yan? WTF?!
here's my fave part... ddddamn he's fabulous
medyo may konting ipin(nayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!)
soft ang gentle parang ice cream.
siguro parang liposuction, sipsip lahat hanggang kaluluwa
Mura sa US, Mitz....Aileen's 26th is coming soon. Bday gift mo na lang
made in japan! color FINK
ooh color pink naaaaaks!... pde purple?
Hanap pa kita ng Purple ....and may remote Para sa TAMAD
Buti wala si Charo or else iwan na tayo sa conf noon
ay bka mahimatay ang lola charo
girls, have to go... mass pa ko!
mass? what daaa???... how ironic!
sked another confy... the goddess is out na

*weee* That was fun! Luv yah Abbie, Mitzi, Ivy and Tin (ay hindi pala nababasa 'to ni Tin. BAWAL sa CHINA! Grrrrr.)

Virgin Charo, we missed you! Ya better be online later! Anyway, I emailed the transcript to our egroups so you won't miss out on the twisted fun we just had ;)

Friday, April 09, 2004


Right after I came home fr. mass, I got a text from Lucy:

Haha. Ate aileen, reubs is using the pics that you took. Yiheeee!

I replied:

Ay talaga?! Alin? Saan? Where? When? How? Why? Teka, naloka ako bigla.

So apparently, Reubs used the pics from the Dish gigs (which I posted on his board at the 'fellas forum = = shameless plug!) on his myspace account. Yey! 'Katuwa naman sya :)

So I sent him a message on myspace:

Subject: wow :)


naaaaks... u're using the pix i took! 'katuwa naman :) buti naman u like your pix ;) hehehe

just lemme know if u want the original files of ur pics... i'd be glad to email 'em to u or like maybe burn u a CD with aaaaallll your pictures :)

And he replied:

Subject: RE: wow :)
Body: yeah, i waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnttt (drool)


pero seryoso aileen, i honestly believe that your pictures make me look 1000000000x better than in real life. =) yan ba ang nagagawa ng kodak sayo?!

reubs =)

*teehee* isn't that adorable or what?! Para syang kid na tuwang-tuwa :) Hayyy. Kewlness. That made my day sunshiny. :)

Thanks for the text Lucy-girl! *hugz*

Wednesday, April 07, 2004


My mom, dad & I watched The Passion after doing our Visita Iglesia this morning. Can I just say, it's a very disturbing movie. But hey, I commend Mel Gibson for doing this movie. Nowadays, it's so hard to get a "holy" message across. Especially, when people are busy running around, working, doing all sorts of stuff. A movie is a good medium to reach everyone who's always out nowadays. I mean, how many people actually take time to read the Holy Bible nowadays? Even I am guilty of being not too keen about reading it.

I cried watching how Jesus suffered. Oh but I was a bit distracted thinking how cute Jim Caviezel was. He has such nice, soulful, dreamy eyes. And my, my, he kinda looks like an older version of Brandon Boyd (Incubus) which made me all the more distracted! Oh well. Nevertheless, I was silently crying while Jesus was scourged at the pillars, when he was on his way to Calvary and when he was crucified (*crunch*crack* arghhh. *cringe*) Now I understand why most of the people who saw this movie found it very life-changing and enlightening. I shall never look at the cross the same way ever again. Jesus truly loves mankind. Whoa. 'Makes you really want to be a better person.

~*DISH GIG (again!)*~

After a long hiatus from the akafellas gig scene, I watched them again at feels-like-home Dish Powerplant last night. I managed to drag along 3 of my officemates who actually wanted to have a girls' night-out since Tues. was the last working day of the week. Eh I said I had a gig to attend, so therefore, why not join me (so that finally they could understand what's my big fuss over the fellas...)? They agreed. So basically, I got kinda nervous for the guys -- will them newbies like the fellas or not? It was especially hard coz their general idea of the guys is that they sang Bongga Ka Day. That's it. And they find Bongga a bit annoying. So I told Robi, "You guys better debunk the Bongga Ka myth and impress 'em!"

Well, my tension went away when I saw them being quite amused by Karl's melismatic singing. Comment on Reuben: PERFORMER daw talaga ha. Well, one can't help but notice his super give-to-the-max grooving. At aba, ang PauloNav, bumenta! They liked his suave, smooth singing style. Sexy daw. Naks. I now finally get why the girls are sooo charmed by Pau's singing ... super mega delayed reaction ba?*teehee* Strange though, coz usually, newbies would rave over Myke. But since Myke was a bit spaced out last night and what with his way too long segue to his pingpong thingymajig, errmmm, nainip na my officemates. Seriously, he looked a bit off last night. He wasn't even blinking at all so they were asking me if he was drugged or somethin'. And waah, Myke looks way too thin for me now! I like his pre-Mossimo body better! Now even his cheeks are sunken na. He's not even buff-looking at all, although I'm sure the 6-pack is still there. My officemates even said na mas pang Mossimo pa daw yung bod ni Reuben! (Now THAT's a thought! Hmmm. Pwede, pwede...) Well anyway, they heartily laughed over Robi and Myke's comic spiels. Generally speaking, they were wowed by the fellas! I once told this officemate of mine that a "cure" for her depression would be to watch an akafellas gig coz that's how I became happy last year during my hellish depressing love life. So last night, she said naman na sumaya naman daw sya from watching the guys. Yey!

Teehee, I just remembered some more kwento after I read Hogi's blog: So Robi was doing a segue na for Bongga Ka Day... I realized that they were gonna sing that and at the same time, Bianx (my perky officemate) also realized that they were indeed about to sing Bongga. Funny, coz sabay kaming immediately napasabi ng: "NOoOoOo...". And ackkk, apparently, our violent reaction was quite loud (disclaimer: si Bianx yung malakas na nag-no, hindi akoooo! ehehehe;) ) that Pau and Robi reacted too! Ahahaha! They decided to "delay" our agony and sang something else muna. Ehehehe.

Awww. I was happy last night ;) I got hugz, hugz, hugz and kisses from everyone... from Hogi, Sybs, Peachy when they arrived... from huggy-wuggy Robi who really appreciated the stuff that I gave him and the rest of the guys last night. "Wow, no one has ever done this for us! I'm touched!". Si Reubs "Wow, photo paper pa!" And he asked how I did the carpal tunnel font thingie. Hehe. Ikey was also sweet. Si Myke, ayun, spaced out "Yeah, thank you ha. Ah, ano ba yun?" Wahaha.

Yey, finally managed to have a NEW pic with PauloNav. Gaah. My last pic taken with him was waaaay back in Philharmonic Guess gig last year. Whoa, I luvvvv the brown hair of Reubs! It looked great on him. I want to have that shade of brown! I want! I want! Aww, and I finally saw Huggy-wuggy Robi again. *Weee* Enuf said ;)

TOP: Me and my officemates: Vic, Sherlz, Bianx.
BOTTOM: Charo and her friend Bryce (who likes Robi, yihee.)

With my fave fellas Reubs and Robi!

With Hogi and Robi :)

Finally, a new pic with Pau! ;)

Saturday, April 03, 2004

~* I GOT IT BAD *~

Yuck. I got it bad. This is freaking me out. Gaaaah.

When you feel it in your body
You found somebody who
Makes you change your ways
Like hanging wit' your crew
Said you act like you ready
But you don't really know
And everything in your past
You wanna let it go

I been there, done it, humped around
After all that, this is what I found
Nobody wants to be alone
If you're touched by the words in this song
Then maybe

You got it, you got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
(Ooh) You got it, you got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when
You stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
'Cos all you think about
You got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' 'bout somebody else
You got it bad

When you say that you love 'em
And you really know everything
That used to matter don't matter no more
Like my money all my cars
You can have it all and
Flowers, cards and candy I do it just 'cos
I said I'm fortunate to have you girl
I want you to know I really adore you

All my people that know what's going on
Look at your mate help me sing my song
Tell her I'm your man
You're my girl
I'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world
Ladies, say I'm your girl
You're my man
Promise to love you the best I can

See I've been there, done it, humped around
After all that, this is what I found
Every one of y'all are just like me
It's too bad that you can't see
That you got it bad

You got it, you got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
(Ooh) You got it, you got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when
You stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
'Cos all you think about
You got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' 'bout somebody else
You got it bad.

~ You Got It Bad, Usher


Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?

~ Why Can't I, Liz Phair

~*FALLING... TSK, TSK... *~

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

I can't even friggin' walk around the, ummm, place without my heart racing like crazy coz I am already half-petrified at the thought of bumping into him. Gaaah. I think I've got it bad. The more freaked out I am when he is, at the very least, visible to me at some distance, the more it terrifies me that this is becoming too real, too significant. It doesn't seem to be just a lil crush anymore. I can feel this object of my affection will turn out to be the same way as what I felt with ITY. After college, I have never ever found someone who measured up to the qualities of this crush of mine back in college. And then here comes this, uhh, dude from, uhh, basta, and freakishly, he fits the bill almost perfectly. And then I find out where his province is and I'm like, "Holy crap this is too freaky! Didn't I say to myself waaay back in college that I wish I'd meet a guy from ____ (*gaah, I'll be totally busted if he reads this so I'll leave it blank* I am still scared that he might breeze by this blog...) coz they seem to be/known to be that "breed" (ackkk, parang dogs. oh well, the right term escapes me at the moment...) of men who are just so super-kaduper lambing. And super lambing guys are really my no. 1 weakness. *sigh*. I just melt over super-sweet charmers.

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

I am even too shocked to break into a smile when I see him. And I hate it when he just suddenly springs right in front of me. I just go "gaaaah" silently as I hurriedly walk away. The key is to scamper away as fast as it is humanly possible while donning high heels. And then I end up muttering under my (short) breath, while crazily palpitating: " I hate this, I hate this, I hate this." I was not like this last December. This is baaaad. I've got it baaad.

Oh well. I have mastered the art of acting nonchalant when I bump into him. So I guess it's all good. But then I hate the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. It tends to be quite stressful if it happens almost everyday.

Oh, and did I mention that I felt jealous tonight coz uhh, basta. Huhuhu. Selos ako. :'(

Man, I freakin' hate this!!! Stupid, stupid love.

Gaaah. This is gonna be the death of me. Stupid love. Of course it wouldn't be stupid anymore if the feeling is mutual, right? But then he's.... man, I can't explain this anymore. This is turning out to be a very complex emotion.

So help me God.

Thursday, April 01, 2004


I got this from my highschool e-groups this morning:

According to studies, the first letter of your first name reveals your sexual identity... What do you think?

My sympathies to anyone whose name begins with N. *pat, pat*


You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it's action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.


You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an _expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your _expression of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.


You are a very social individual, You must be able to talk to your sex partner before. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without sexual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.


Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open.


Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bedmate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don't have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book.)


You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once omitted, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You
can be a very generous lover.


You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of erotic stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active sexually that is, when you find the time. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to a lover, but no trouble getting close sexually.


You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment,
though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover.


You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... Even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual _expression. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.


You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your _expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the well. Only you see her. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated.


You are totally fucking marvelous!


You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover's savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can't help falling in love. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You do not tell others of this secret life, nor of your sexual fantasies.


You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense.. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You also enjoy mothering your mate.


You are crap in bed.


You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.


You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; a good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are free of sexual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.


You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.


You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not bed, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.


You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very
seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.


You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily.. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased... You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, oftentimes all in your own head.


You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom.
You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant gratification. You are willing to put your partner's pleasures above your own.


You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Swing someone means psyching him/ her out. You feel a need to get into his head to see
what makes him/ her tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and suspense. The gay scene turns you on, even though you yourself may not be a participant.


You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.


You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs, all by yourself, in your own head.


You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forgo the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making
money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an open, stimulating, romantic bedmate.


For you, it is business before pleasure. If you are in any way bothered by career, business, or money concerns, you find it very hard to relax and get into the mood. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and are capable of much sensuality. But you never lose control of your emotions. You are very careful and cautious before you give your heart away and your body, for that matter. Once you make the commitment, though, you stick like glue.