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Sunday, June 26, 2005


Thursday, June 23, 2005


First of all, I just went to my derma last night and had my face chemically-peeled and my zits pricked. So I was pretty much red and spotty despite the foundation and concealer galore. Nevertheless, I can always photoshop my spots away so I determinedly pushed through with my plans of going to Hale's Tower promo. 'Got off work at exactly 5pm today to rush to Tower Records, Glorietta for Hale's album signing @ 6pm. 'Turned out they started early coz they were already playing to a packed Tower Rec audience when I got there at 5:30pm. Geez. And I thought I was early!

The crowd typically consisted of high school and college kids (some still wearing their uniforms). Only a handful of us were yuppies so we pretty much stuck out like a sore thumb there. *LOL*

And so this warms up my series of predictably groupie-perspective posts. (My kick-off was the Fete de la Musique post). Those who know me will attest to my cam-craziness when it comes to my fave music artists. I love music. I breathe music. I live for the gigs. I adore the band. And I will most probably be inseperable with my beloved crew of assorted digicams for the next coupla months ('depends on the venue... If I know I won't have good seats, I bring my super kaduper 30X zoom 4MP camera. If it's an intimate setting like the Tower Records thing this afternoon, I just bring my tiny 3X zoom 2MP cam.)

So anyway, when I got there, they went into singing The Day You Said Goodnight and then Kahit Pa.

*sorry, roll was on the other side of the post so I wasn't able to take pics of him

Then came the most-awaited album signing. I managed to strategically-position myself earlier when I arrived so I was probably among the first 25 persons in the two lines that stretched up to Tower's stairs to the second floor. So Sheldon (bass) was the first to sign my album. I objected with an "Eeeek! Why'dja do that?!" when he signed my poster. He innocently smiled as if it was a naughty/weird "prank" he pulled on fans (I noticed he did the same thing to some other posters). My first impression of him (note my qualifying description as this is just the first time that I came up to him) is that he's a bit, hmm, eccentric and he seems to be an introvert. Also, he seems to be in a bit of a trance when he plays his bass guitar. Haha. Operative word: "seems". I dunno... let's see if he's still like that in the next coupla gigs I will be going to ;)

I asked for a photo-op with Sheldon. Coz hmm, I find him interesting and cute in a strange kind of way. I'm kinda drawn to him coz he's such an enigma. After that, I turned to Roll (guitars) for his signature. He looked visibly tired and sleepy. Never uttered a word. Hmm. I wanted to compliment him on his songwriting but I totally forgot about it then. Unfortunately, Omnie (drums) had stepped out for a while when I was there at the signing table so I didn't get any signatures from him. And finally, *drum roll* there was Champ.

Champ (vocals) was very affable. And *sigh* so squeaky-cleanishly cute. Angelic-looking even. Hehe. At that point when I was with Champ, the band manager was doing his "order-in-the-court!" kind of semi-shouting at the people who were still milling about at the exit area, taking endless pictures of Champ/Arthur/Champy/Champoy. (the champ phenomenon talaga!) He was even telling Champ to go faster with the signing/posing/small talk, so after Champ signed my poster and album, I hesitantly asked him "Eeeek... Ummm, pwede pa ba? [to take picture]". He smiled and tugged me close to him and said that yeah it was so okay to have a photo-op (despite their band manager going semi-ballistic *LOL*). He kiddingly whispered to me "Pasensya na ha, medyo masungit yung manager namin ngayon eh." And then I asked him if he was feeling well na (coz he had been pretty much sick the past few days with the Fete and all their gazillion gigs) and he said he was OK na. I told him I saw them at Fete and he asked what was my name again. Hehe. As if he will remember that after a gazillion faces and names breezed by him. Oh well. Anyway, he was really really so sooo nice to everyone. And what's even cute is that his doting father was also there beside him. The first time I saw the old man, I already guessed he was Champ's dad coz I saw their resemblance. Such a cool dad (think: TitoDaddy - dad of Reubs of Akafellas). Champ's dad was even helping the girls take his son's pictures with their cellphones. He even called Champ's attention a coupla times to request Champ to smile for the plethora of cellphones and digicams aimed at him.

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Roll, Champ and Sheldon's signatures. Look at what Sheldon did to my poster. Hayyy.

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with sheldon (top) and champ (bottom)

father and son!

champ wears levi's...

Sunday, June 19, 2005


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Fete de la Musique yesterday was a blast! #1 Thank God it did not rain like last year's fete and #2 thank God there was no coup d'etat or people power that broke out amidst the political turmoil our country is having now.

I was at the Rock Stage @ Racks parking at 9pm and watched Sandwich. I was right beside the left speakers at first but I realized it was a big mistake to position myself there because the guys were slammin' all over the place. I decided to watch from a distance instead. Wasn't able to catch Kjwan and Sugarfree though because I had to move to the Alternative Stage @ Podium driveway . The Alternative Stage was such a relief from the wild sweaty punk frenzy of the Rock Stage coz there were less rowdy guys at the Alternative Stage (there were still occasional bottle-throwing and slamming).

I was surprised to see Franco Mabanta as one of the hosts in the Alternative stage. He, hmmm, didn't seem to fit in there though. Example:

The 3 hosts (Franco, another guy and a gal) were doing some adlibs while the next band was setting up...

Guy host: I'm sure all the girls came here because of Champ and Yael!
*gals scream in agreement*
Franco: *lost look* Who's that?


I was somewhere in front when Hale performed. Total female pandemonium! It looked like every girl out there wanted to marry Champ (or something like that). Good thing I wasn't wearing my sequined t-shirt or else all the sequins would have fallen off from all that friction... pushing, slamming... Bummer though coz they only sang two songs: Broken Sonnet and The Day You Said Goodnight.

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A lot of people followed Hale at the Artists' Area backstage. Twas overwhelming how everyone wanted to get a piece of Hale, most especially Champ. I didn't bother to squeeze into the crowd for a pic coz grabe, total pandemonium, I tell ya. It's good though how Champ still smiled and smiled and smiled for everyone who called his name (despite of him looking really dead tired).

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the champ phenomenon

Saw Barbie's Cradle perform. Twas cute how Barbie Almabis broke into that Annie song (the sun comes out tomorrow...) with her pixie voice and all.

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While I was standing at the corner of UCC Cafe, I was surprised to see Sheldon (Hale) passing by right in front of me. It was crowded so it took quite some time for him to completely pass by. So anyway, I was just staring at him and he must have seen me staring at him with this dumbfounded hey-i-know-you kind of stare. So he gave me this umm-gee-i-think-she-recognizes-me look and was almost gonna break into a smile but I guess since I remained too shocked to smile or say hi at him, all I saw was a faint smile. Hmm, he is actually sorta cute up close. Hmm.

Then I watched Stonefree. I liked these guys eversince their "Listen" in Single (channel 5 tv show) OST days. They sang Listen, their new single Sayang and Kapag Nawala Ka. I like Miro's voice. I sooo like that breathing part/dramatic pause in Kapag Nawala Ka. Galeng. Grabe.

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In one of my trips from the rest room (Podium kept their mall open. Goodie! Clean restrooms!:) ), as I was on my way out of the mall, I bumped into Champ and Roll (Hale) who were going inside the mall. So I went back in along with some gals who tailed them for a quick photo-op. Champ looked really, really tired but cute just the same:) and accommodating, nevertheless. He even gave me this grateful gesture (hands in "amen" position, then slightly bowing head down and smiling) after having our picture taken so I mimicked his gesture to say thanks too. He was probably too exhausted to speak.

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Sponge Cola was pushed to a much later slot and they finally performed around 2:50AM as the second to the last band. Seemed like the people there were only waiting for them coz after their gig, only a handful were left watching the last band. They sang Lunes (I finally heard the famous tongue-clicking thingie of Yael for that bossa-nova beat), Neon (*triple sigh* I sooo love that song) and KLSP.

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I thought I wouldn't be hit, pero, geez, at the last minute, a mineral water bottle bounced on my shoulder. Hayyy. Aaanyway...

After they performed, I went to the Artists' Area. There was not much people since it was verrrry late already (it was past 3AM). After their video interview with I-dunno-who, and a coupla autograph signings and photo ops, I asked Rayfab, Sponge Cola's manager (I recognized him from the pictures) if it was ok for him to take my picture. He asked pa nga if I wanted na with "the band" but seeing that Chris, Gosh and Armo were nowhere in sight, I said na with Yael na lang was ok with me. And, hello, I did not want to be too demanding as to require him to round up the entire band for me. I had to explain to him that I was not with anyone so there was nobody to take my pic. I was happy to entrust my digicam to him and he gladly obliged. (Thanks Rayfab!:)) Yael thought all the picture-taking was over but Rayfab motioned to him that I wanted to have a pic with him. So there. Yael paused for a much-needed tissue-wiping of his face muna and then strategically posed with his usual good angle.

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haha. yael just HAD TO pose with his good angle as always. marunong na bata. he knows his good angle.

Got home around 4:30AM.

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my tired, tired dirty fete feet :(

That was fun. I'll definitely go again next year!;)

Sunday, June 12, 2005


Does it still hurt?

How do I answer a question like that? For a moment there, I was at a loss. I could not even straightforwardly answer it with a "yes" or a "no". And then I tried to recall how much it actually hurt before. As I re-read what I have written on my journal, I was overwhelmed by the magnitude of my pain at that time when I consciously refused to blog online about it. I have kept those words to myself as I wanted to suffer in silence. I did not want to bother my friends with my all-too-familiar woes. But now I've decided that it's time to set those words free...

Dec. 19, 2004:
... I do not even want my friends to know the extent of this doubting in my mind. I am probably still in denial. I can't believe I'm experiencing this. I am still rationalizing. Desperately. This is more hellish than ever. I sooo want this to work. Please God? Please help both of us make this work. I'm sooo tired.

Last night I couldn't sleep. It was because I was bothered with thoughts of him. I was talking to him but I couldn't say that I missed him terribly that it kills me. I wanted to hear his voice... But it's like he's so far away. So near yet so far. It's like I can't reach him anymore. It's like he built a wall around him. He can open the door from his side but I can't on my side...

Dec. 23, 2004:
... Classic. I did it again. I put myself in the same sh*thole where I was last year. It's beginning to be a recurring theme and I am exasperated. I quit, I give up. There is nothing good for anybody else.

I can't see why I put my hopes up and led myself to believe that it will be different this time when I know full well that it has always been the same crap for me.

Indeed, all men are created equal. They are all f***ing same.

Dec. 24, 2004:
... There really is no point in waiting, is there?

I just wish I could cry right now but there are no tears. Even my tears have become selfish to me.

... If this is the f***ing screwed up story over and f***ing over again, I don't know how f***ing strong and brave I'd have to be. I am f***ing tired. When will this crapdom ever stop?

I think it's me. There's something awfully wrong with me that makes them leave and go away. They may not have planned to do that but there's probably something in me that doesn't ever make them stay for good.

Dec. 26, 2004:
I wonder for how long do I have to sleep crying and wake up sad. If there was ever an account of my life, I pretty much was the f***ing tortured soul of love. Prisoner of love. Most of my growing up years, counting til now, was spent in unbelievably f***ing cruel emotional torture. Sometimes I just wanna be hit by a stray bullet in my sleep and die without knowing it. A bullet striaght to the heart. F***ing dramatic sh*t.

The way they say how the heart feels like being crushed into thousand little pieces, how missing someone terribly that it kills you, how something feels like daggers through the heart, how being in love is total agony... I've felt it and I am feeling it now. I have been in this miserable road over and over again that I think I'm just travelling in circles. There is no escape. I feel like a guinea pig in a wheel. Chasing nothing. Being tired for nothing. Making all that effort for nothing.

I might as well stop cold now. Quit the f***ing pursuit of happiness and quest for f***ing true love. Because it seems, in one way or the other, at a certain point, I will just get a f***ed up pathetic bullcrap consolation prize...


And NOW, I wonder to myself. Does it still hurt?

Well, hurting is a relative term. Compared to five months ago, I think I am feeling better now. But that is not to say that I am no longer hurt. For something that has no closure and have been left messy, unapologized for and unforgiven will never ever feel okay... it will always hurt forever. Yes, understanding and acceptance of what happened somewhat pacifies the tortured soul. But not until everything is set right will I be free from the haunting recollections of dreams gone stale.


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Thursday, June 09, 2005

~* THREEs... *~

Seems like it's survey time over blogland... 'got this from the forces gals (abbie/tin/charo)...

Three names you go by:

  1. aileen
  2. meyj
  3. -

Three screen names you have had:

  1. lilacstardust
  2. themusicjunkiegirl
  3. silverlilac

Three physical things you like about yourself:

  1. eyes & eyelashes
  2. butt
  3. chin

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:

  1. boobs, where art thou? :P
  2. tummy
  3. nose

Three parts of your heritage:

  1. spanish
  2. chinese
  3. pinoy!

Three things that scare you:

  1. death of a loved one
  2. spinsterhood
  3. flying cockroaches!

Three of your everyday essentials: (aside from food... hello!)

  1. born lippy strawberry lip balm
  2. money
  3. celfone

Three things you are wearing right now:

  1. big night shirt
  2. undies
  3. hair clips/clamps

Three of your favorite bands or musical artists:

  1. sponge cola
  2. hale
  3. incubus

Three of your favorite songs: ( my recent faves)

  1. neon by sponge cola
  2. underneath the waves by hale
  3. brighter than sunshine by aqualung (fr OST of A Lot Like Love!)

Three things you want in a relationship:

  1. true love
  2. commitment
  3. open communication

* bakit 3 lang?! i still want sooo much more than these!

Two truths & a lie: (in no particular order)

  1. i 'll still take him if ever he comes back
  2. sometimes i wish those things didn't happen at all
  3. i'd rather go for the one i love more than the one who loves me more

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:

  1. eyes
  2. shoulders
  3. butt

Three of your favorite hobbies:

  1. listening to music/going to band gigs
  2. blogging/blog-hopping//friendster spying//pointless internet surfing
  3. watching sappy/mushy films with nice quotes

Three things you want to do really badly now:

  1. see/talk to/be embraced by him
  2. buy a kick-ass component (stereo/dvd/mp3... the works!)
  3. watch hale/sponge cola perform live

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:

  1. being a doctor
  2. graphic artist/web developer
  3. a cool behind-the-scenes (maybe production or marketing) job at MTV

Three places you want to go on vacation:

  1. Bohol (the tarsiers, the beach and whale/dolphin-watching)
  2. New York (to see how cool and funky the place is)
  3. France and the rest of Europe (hayyy, backpacking in Europe... i wanna see the architectural structures/landmarks, art pieces, etc.)

Three kid's names you like:

  1. Kenneth Edmond
  2. Chloe
  3. Gwyneth

Three things you want to do before you die:

  1. Do the Sydney Bridge climb
  2. Get to see Europe
  3. Sky-dive!

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:

  1. hmm. that i can be a rocker chick? geez, i remember the headbanging days...
  2. i check out gals' boobs (not in a sleazy way ha! just guessing if they're wearing push-up bras or not! comparing boobs sizes. i'm most happy if i see someone more flat-chested than i am! haha!)
  3. ---

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:

  1. i'm emotional/mushy/DQ-ish
  2. there's no such thing as too many shoes or bags... a new one is always welcome!
  3. i tend to put "meanings" on gestures/words which i know means nothing actually. labooo.

Three celeb crushes:

  1. scott speedman (felicity)
  2. brandon boyd (incubus)
  3. gael garcia bernal (el crimen del padre amaro/y tu mama tambien/motorcycle diaries, etc)

Three people that i would like to see take this quiz now:

let's see who among the forces gals hasn't done this loooong survey yet... ivy and mitzi!

and all the others who have the patience to answer this long survey! ;)

~* IF I COULD... *~

Fay tagged me for this one...

if i could be in one place right now
i'd probably be in paris.

if i could give something to myself, to my friends
MYSELF: boylet who would not disappear on me, pwede?
MY FRIENDS: whatever is their most fervent wish

if i could take some people somewhere
i'd take them to hmm, one of the nice palawan beaches!

if i could make one dream come true
umm, world peace?

if i could do real magic
i'd want to be invisible and be able to teleport! (spying and free travel!)

i pass this to:

the forces gals, ivah, claire, teena, arlene, june, kiko...

Sunday, June 05, 2005


Saw a coupla chain posts today... 'edited it a bit... ;)

From June:

JUST: Reply with your full name and ...

1. I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you.
3. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
4. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
5. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.

Then you gotta put this in your journal afterwards :D

c'mon people, just comment or something. hahah. boredom.


From Arlene:

Things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it on your journal... and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs.

In no particular order:

  1. music trippin' (i go through various phases in my type of music -- i'm now in the Pinoy rock band phase -- obviously!)
  2. watching mushfests on DVD (i like crying over sappy movies)
  3. pointless surfing (friendster-spying, egroups/message boards/blogs...)
  4. blogging (this explains my drama queen entries... it's like therapy minus the expensive shrink!)
  5. making vain photoshop projects (yes, i'm vain. so kill me now.)
  6. walking through the aisles of tower records (weird, i know, but it works for me. i'm just a big music junkie.)
  7. reading books (there's a lot of intelligent books out there. i'm in the "pondering-the-meaning-of-life" mode so I'm reading The Alchemist now... Abbie, I'm missing my Greg book already, hehe...)

i'm tagging:


Saturday, June 04, 2005


In anticipation of the Philippines' Independence Day, let's celebrate the OPM rock scene!

Bumaba ako sa jeepney
Kung saan tayo'y dating magkatabi
Magkahalik ang pisngi nating dalwa
Nating dalawa

Panyo mo sa aking bulsa
Ang amoy mo'y naroon pa rin
Tawa nati'y humahalay
Sa init nating dalawa

Subalit ngayo'y wala na
Ikaw ay lumayo na

Naaalala ko ang mga gabing nakahiga sa ilalim ng kalawakan
Naaalala ko ang mga gabing magkatabi sa ulan

Kulay ng iyong ngiti
Tikwas ng iyong buhok
At ang lambot ng iyong labi
Iyong labi

Kahit anino mo sa malayo
Ay nais masulyapan
Upang mapawi
Ang lamig