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Thursday, August 30, 2007


I have a confession. I haven't watched ANY of the Bourne series until last Monday. I'm not the kind who'd go out of her way to watch guy flicks so I never really had the burning desire to catch Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum when it was released in the theaters. It's just as much as saying that I have never seen any of the Ocean series (Ocean's 11 to 13) coz guy flicks don't really interest me. Having a national holiday to enjoy last Monday, I decided to spend it doing a Bourne DVDthon. With all the raves over Bourne Ultimatum, I got really curious and decided to see what the hype was all about. I hate to watch sequels without watching the first one so I viewed all three movies in order. The moment I was finished with Bourne Identity, I was hooked. And really, playing the Jason Bourne character has made Matt Damon officially hot in my book! I never really categorized him as "hot" previous to watching Bourne mainly because I still get the gay vibe with him and his best friend Ben Affleck :p

I loved the testosteroney awesome car chase and fight scenes! And that fast-paced suspense scene in Ultimatum when he was dishing out quick instructions via celfone to the newspaper writer at the Waterloo Station! Jason Bourne as a character is such a turn on coz he's actually a number-memorizing geek/highly-adept map reader/amazing crazy driver/kick-ass fighter. Verrrry manly!

Actually, I've never been a big fan of Matt Damon. The last time Matt Damon's acting amazed me was waaaay back in The Talented Mr. Ripley. I haven't seen Good Will Hunting though. But, really, watching the Bourne series changed my opinion of him as an actor. So okay, I like Matt Damon now. And I'll be sure to watch out for the next Bourne movie...


I was saddened when I heard about Owen Wilson's alleged suicide attempt :-( I'm not a super huge fan of his but I always loved his comedic acting alongside Ben Stiller (think: adorable little cowboy in "Night at the Museum") and enjoyed watching him in Zoolander, Starsky & Hutch and Wedding Crashers. I prefer watching his movies over his brother's (Luke Wilson) ;-)

His smiling eyes, distinctly crooked nose and winning smile... that unmistakable boyish voice of his... his comedic timing are everything that makes him every bit of the extremely likeable romantic-comedy genre actor.

Everything is basically just wild gossip as of now but I wonder how someone who seems to have such a happy disposition in life turned out to be someone desperate enough to (attempt to) kill himself. Was it a cry for help? Sigh. 'Just goes to show that even celebrities who seem to be on top of their game lose their way and stumble into the darkness... With such Hollywood star status, we just forget that they're human human after all. They have pains, troubles and heartaches like the rest of us ordinary people.

I just hope Owen bounces back from this. I would really love to see him get his groove back soon. It would be such a sorry loss to Hollywood if he crumbles and breaks altogether.

Get well soon Owen! (Riiight. As if he'd read this. Hah!)

Friday, August 24, 2007


I discovered this poignant song while downloading Grey's Anatomy soundtrack from Season 3 episodes. It was used in the ep "Some Kind of Miracle". This is the one where dead Denny re-appears in the show...

Unkle Bob is a band from UK and judging from their Myspace comments, they've become pretty famous when GA fans heard their song used in one of the episodes.

Unkle Bob

By my side,
you'll never be.
By my side,
you'll never be.

Cos I'm fake at the seams,
I'm lost in my dreams.
I want you to know,
that I can't let you go.

And you're never coming home again,
And you're never coming home again.

By my side,
you'll never be.
By my side,
you'll never be.

I wanted to tell you I'd changed.
I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time.

But I see you, you see me,
I see you, you see me,

You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again.

Friday, August 17, 2007


I looooove PostSecret. I always make it a point to visit this blog once a week. Sometimes it comforts me that I am not alone in this battle called Life. I love this AVP that Frank did and Sia's Breathe Me just gives me goosebumps as I watch the postcards featured here...

Saturday, August 11, 2007


In the movie "Meet Joe Black", the characters say that death and taxes are the only things certain in this life. Death cannot be anymore real for me than last Saturday when my grandmother passed away. She was 86 years old.

As I met much "senior" relatives during the burial, it occured to me that I was not sure if I wanted to grow THAT old. I tried to envision myself 55 years from now. Granting that I'm still alive by then and not yet choked by the horrible air pollution of the 21st century, I would probably be a skinny shrivelled old lady in a purple dress. Do eyelashes fall off as you grow old? If not, I would probably still be curling my eyelashes. I hope my precious Shu Uemura eyelash curler is still surviving with me by then. Can I still walk when I'm super old? Or will I be maneuvering a wheel chair? Would I be wearing super thick eyeglasses? Would my hearing be impaired? Will my grandchildren talk super loudly at me so I can hear what they're saying to me? Would I have grandchildren? Would I have children of my own? Would I have a husband? Will he live as long as I do or would I be a widow? Would I be married? Will I have a great pension plan all paid up? Will I have a good insurance coverage?

Now the thing about a gathering of relatives you only see once or twice a year is that it would always raise the million dollar question. Remind me to make a shirt that says "No, I don't have a boyfriend." And since my lola was a DECS supervisor, I've met Mrs. Barroso, my English teacher back in high school, during the wake. And imagine how I got thrown off-guard when she asks me: "So who's the girlfriend of K_ now?" Uhh. Okaaay. Must I know the answer to that question? I managed to blurt out an "I don't know" and reasoned that we umm, haven't been in touch these past months. I just updated her about stuff I knew about my batchmates and highschool friends... where they are now, whether married or not, boyfriend of whom, working where, has a kid... stuff like that. I tried to spew out as much update as I can so as to elude prying questions about MY current sorry state. Hah!

Now thinking about my wake and death, I should make sure that a trusty kikay friend of mine would ensure that I won't look like roadkill inside my coffin. When she was alive, my lola had already made some sort of sister-pact with her friend -- whoever "went" first shall be responsible for the other's "coffin look". Hence, her friend even rearranged my lola's hair and ensured her eyebrows were drawn right. That kind of kikay stuff. So whoever will be my designated kikay friend, listen up: Curl my lashes, shape my brows (or draw natural-looking brows if I don't have any eyebrows by then), don't use super red lipstick coz it makes my lips look bigger... use a nude or pinkish brown shade, use lavender/purple eyeshadow, don't forget the cheek blush. And make sure my hair still looks fab.

I'm okay with cremation if it comes out less expensive than being buried. Either way, I'd want a lavender-tinged white coffin. And if I'm cremated, I'd be happy with a pink marble or pewter urn. During the wake, assuming every place is Wi-Fi'd by then, I would like a laptop set-up in one corner of the mortuary where the visitors would be able to read my blog posts and view my online photo galleries. That's gonna be one cool memoir :-)

And during my eulogy and/or burial, for goodness' sake, please don't sing a sappy Hindi Kita Malilimutan kind of song. How about Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" or Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony"?



Did you ever have one of those days when you ask yourself if this is as good as it gets? Will the heartbreak ever heal? Will I be able to move on someday soon? Will I have my happily ever after anytime soon? Why do people leave? Why do people do what they do? Is there really hope for the flowers? Will it forever be a pursuit of happiness? Will I ever BE happy or just die trying?