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Friday, December 31, 2004


'Been seeing year-end surveys all over blogland. I combined Abbie's and Mika's year-end posts (I tweaked some questions though) for this year-end entry of mine...

What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done?
Gone reggae-dancing wearing tank tops/sleeveless tops all the time

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yup, Ajie with her twins (one of 'em is my godchild)

What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?

What date/s from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory?
Not too good with dates. Anyway, since I'm a big music fan (NO MUSIC, NO LIFE!), it was ecstacy for me to watch such big foreign acts like Jason Mraz, Incubus (ULTIMATE!!! BRANDON BOYD ROOOOCKS!), and Linkin Park

Okay, one date... quite recent: Dec. 4/5. Basta.

Did you suffer an illness or injury?
I will forever be asthmatic. Dang. If not that, it's upper respiratory tract infection. gaaaah. my lungs are too depressed to breathe nicely.

What was the best thing you bought?
thingS.... My Nokia 6230 kicks ass! I love personalizing it with my mp3 ringtones.
DVDs (albeit pirated mostly. so sue me.): El Crimen del Padre Amaro, My Life Without Me
CDs: Love Actually soundtrack, Maroon5's Songs About Jane
Great kikay find: Body Shop's Born Lippy strawberry lip balm

Where did most of your money go?
DVDs, CDs, prepaid internet card, books bought from Powerbooks, insane sporadic shopping splurges in Mango and Terranova, shoes, bags

What did you get really, really excited about?
CERTAIN weekend gimmicks during the latter part of the year

What song will always remind you of 2004?
You Won't See Me Crying by Passage

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? still a friggin drama queen
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner. huhuhu. I WANT to gain weight please!
iii. Richer or poorer? richer, I guess

What do you wish you'd done more?
Save moolah; Smiling, laughing and being genuinely happy

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Going shopping when feeling depressed; Crying and being in drama queen mode; Having my heart broken

Did you fall in love in 2004?
I think that's why I AM like THIS now.

What were your favorite TV programs?
Sex and the City (I will always be a fan of the Aidan, Big and Berger - Carrie stories), Punk'd, Amazing Race (I had a crush on Colin and Brandon!), That 70's Show (Ashton's adorable but I am strangely attracted to Wilmer Valderama after seeing how hot he is when he is NOT being loser "Fez" (sp?) )

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. But wonderfully, I DON'T hate now this someone whom I hated last year.

What was the best book you read?
By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho

What were your great musical discoveries?
my beloved AKAfellas, Brownman Revival, Stonefree, Maroon5

What were your favorite films of this year?
Before Sunset, Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason, Love Actually, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, My Life Without Me, 50 First Dates (some of these are probably not 2004 films but I got to watch them this year)

What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I think I just blogged my miseries that day I turned 26 (CHECK MY APRIL 2004 ARCHIVE). I remember my birthday song was Alicia Keys' If I Ain't Got You. Oh, but at least there's a happy part... I went to the 'fellas' gig in the now closed-down Dish in Power Plant. Teena, Lucia, Mika were with me that night. And holy cow, Robi and the rest of the guys called me and my co-birthday celebrant Maika to the stage that night. And therefore, my birthday song that night was a makabagbag-damdaming Bongga Ka Day. *bow*

Who/what kept you sane?
My Forces of Nature gals: Abbie, Charo, Tin, Mitzi and Ivy; blogging; the AKAfellas gigs and the Brownman Revival gigs at Xaymaca; my drama queen soundtrack CDs/mp3s

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Brandon Boyd, Gael Garcia Bernal and his art films, Scott Speedman

What political issue stirred you the most?
I am shamefully apathetic. So sue me.

Who do you miss?
Right NOW? Ask my Forces gals, they'll give you one name.

Who was the best new person you met?
personS: the AKAfellas, the AKAkadas

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Love with caution.


PLACE YOU HUNG OUT MOST IN THIS YEAR: most of the time I vegetated in my room in front of my PC; Dish; Xaymaca






PERSON WHO TOLD YOU THE NICEST THING ABOUT YOURSELF: my AKAkada friends who said that I'm a sweet person in their Friendster testimonials to me. I am actually surprised coz I didn't really consider myself to be sweet!

PERSON WHO DID SOMETHING REALLY GREAT FOR YOU AND WHAT: Abbie will always back me up and cover my ass whenever I stupidly fall in/out of love.

PERSON YOU SPENT THE MOST TIME WITH THIS YEAR: the AKAkadas in the early part of the year; my sister during our reggae Friday nights during the latter part of the year

PERSON YOU DID SOMETHING REALLY GREAT FOR AND WHAT: hmm. my drama queen answer would be: the person(s) whom I love(d) and silently suffered for.


SOMEONE WHOM YOU STARTED A GREAT NEW FRIENDSHIP WITH THIS YEAR: the AKAkadas: Teena, Tere, Mika, June, Sybil, Lucia, Hogi, Peachy, Mic, Rommel, Kuya Baloux, Glenda, Anne, Sarah, Arlene; the AKAfellas (more of Robi, Reubs, Pau, Jhett)

OLD ENEMY/S YOU MADE PEACE WITH THIS YEAR: "Peace na kami DAPAT dba?" quote from last night ;)

SOMEONE YOU LOST THIS YEAR: gaaah. How can you lose someone who was never yours in the first place?


PERSON WHO MADE YOU LAUGH THE MOST: Tin during our YM chats; DJ Myke and his crazy antics onstage

PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY: two guys for ALMOST the same reason


CLOTHING ITEM YOU WORE THE MOST THIS YEAR: hello, business attire 5 days a week. gaah. 3/4 sleeves, cardigan and tank tops, butt-clingy pants;)

NICEST PRESENT YOU GOT THIS YEAR: 64MB i-omega USB flash drive whatchamacallit from my officemate

FAVORITE SONG FOR THE YEAR: She Will Be Loved by Maroon5

COOLEST EVENT OF THE YEAR: Incubus' A Crow Left Of the Murder tour- Manila leg

NEW HOBBY YOU PICKED UP THIS YEAR: digital photography and Adobe Photoshop brushin'

FAVORITE FOOD OF THE YEAR: The Original Jamaican patties (beefy tomato or beefy mushroom)... the one in old Greenbelt


WISEST THING YOU DID THIS YEAR: stuck to my work and delivered my best; saved a bit; did not go into a relationship just for the sake of having one

STUPIDEST THING YOU DID THIS YEAR: i'm always a hopeless romantic. i'm a stupid slave of love. i fall in love easily and I love too deeply. ay such drama!

BIGGEST CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE THIS YEAR: I think I've learned to be braver... I guess I deal with emotional stuff now better than last year. older and wiser as they say...

BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF THE YEAR: controlling my spending and trying to be "financially-responsible"

SOMETHING YOU LEARNED THE HARD WAY: that sometimes, when men go into their so-called caves, they never come back. they're not always like a rubber band that comes back to you after spending time away from you. So much for the MARS AND VENUS theories :(

A. LOVE –Loving someone can be such a battle but you should know what you're getting into in the first place. Thus, you should be prepared to fight, to surrender, to be broken, to be scarred.

B. LIFE – Not all Delamar wants, Delamar gets. Same here!

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR: the non-existent, lifeless love life *LOL*

BIGGEST BLESSING OF THE YEAR: my friends - for the emotional support

BIGGEST THING YOU DISCOVERED ABOUT THE WORLD: that the world doesn't stop for your grief sistah!


To my dear friends (old and new), I'll always be thankful for you are a blessing in my life. Each of you has a purpose in my life --whether grand, life-altering lessons or simple little things... you have been a part of my 2004 and I hope we'll all remain friends for all the years to come... :)


Went out with Abbie and Tin (welcome baaaaack!) (she came back here after working for almost 2 (?) years in Beijing, China). Charo was supposed to be with us but she couldn't get out of the party where she was in :( (we missed u gurl! we got tipsy na and all, hindi ka pa rin nakahabol. huhuhu...)

Anyway, so the 3 of us had dinner at CPK in ATC. We just ordered the Asian Chicken salad (my fave in CPK!) and spaghettini. Felt too bloated afterwards that we didn't get to finish our food. We had to have half the plate of the salad wrapped for take-home. We proceeded to Westgate where Abbie bought three (?) dozens of GoNuts Donuts for her mom. We then hung out in this new place called Lanai Red and we ordered a bottle of red wine. Yeah, we three ladies finished one bottle ;) We sat outside (chilly December air!) and talked, talked, talked... analyzed and over-analyzed things ;) Typical of us! Oh and of course, we have pictures! :P

shots from my digicam...

shots from abbie's fone... my solo shot was from tin's fone. whatdahell, who are we kidding here... they both have exactly the same model of sony ericsson fone!:P
'Had a wonderful night, girls! I loved our crazy/serious/closet-bastos conversations! *mwah*hugz* I luv u gals! :) Thanks for putting up with my drama queen act!:P

Thursday, December 30, 2004


Attended the 30th Metro Manila Film Festival awards night yesterday, Dec 29th at Aliw Theater, CCP Complex. As usual, we sponsored the Best Cinematography award (which was bagged by Ely Cruz for the movie Panaghoy sa Suba). The invite said 6pm so we went there around 6:45pm assuming that the show would start at 7pm. But gaaaahd, it started 8pm... so there we were--in our flimsy formal dresses, freezing our butts off in the north pole-ish room temperature in Aliw Theater. Dammit, we forgot to bring our flannel blankets!

Star-gazing as usual. We were seated where the Panaghoy sa Suba people were that's why I saw Cesar Montano and Sunshine Cruz up close. Sunshine and her magnificently fluffy Carrie Bradshaw-ish frou-frou skirt had to pass in front of us so Cesar was saying gracious apologies to us as they passed. I swear, if the other dude wasn't holding down and "restraining" the wildly fluffy skirt of Sunshine, we would have found our faces buried in ruffles!

G Toengi was in a classic/old Hollywood-inspired white gown with matching fur. I pity the animal that was killed for that fur though. The glassy eyes of the poor furred creature was staring at me sadly from a distance as she passed by. I suppose G Toengi's outfit was the counterpart of Bjork's infamous swan outfit from the Oscars (?).

If I had to add somebody in my list of annoying people, it would have to be the Jaboom Twins. Good gaaaahd. Why did they have to be the hosts of the red carpet thing?! Sorry but I just do not see an ounce of class from those annoying shampoo twins. Their bloopers: in saying "www" = dobolyu-dobolyu-dobolyu... and "eight filmS entries". Gaaaaahd. Appalling.

Anyway, enough of my biatching, here are the pix:

the spectacular lights of the stage

the hosts: Judy Ann Santos, Jomari Yllana and Marvin Agustin; the performers: Jessa Zaragoza and Sunshine Cruz, G Toengi and others; Christian Bautista, Sarah Geronimo and Mark Bautista; the presenters: Rainier and Yasmin(sp?), Mark and Jennalyn (sp?), Paolo Paraiso and Juliana Palermo, Boots Anson-Roa and Richard Gutierrez (such an ODD combination! so awkward!), Rica Peralejo, Dennis Trillo and Iza Calzado; the winners: Best Child Performer Ella Guevarra (Sigaw) flanked by presenters Mark Bautista and Sarah Geronimo, Sunshine Cruz accepting the award on behalf of Rebecca Lusterio (Panaghoy sa Suba) for Best Supporting Actress, Best Actor Christopher de Leon (Mano Po 3), Best Actress Vilma Santos (Mano Po 3), Best Supporting Actor Dennis Trillo (Aishite Imasu), Best Director Cesar Montano (Panaghoy Sa Suba) and Mother Lily for Best Picture Mano Po 3.

I congratulated Dennis Trillo as I passed by his table during dinner and asked for a souvenir shot. Fine, fine... let's call this my jologs picture of the night! :P Ah basta, he's such a cutie! :P I didn't care to have a pic with Vilma Santos and Christopher de Leon even if they were right smack in front of me. I'm contented na with my Dennis Trillo pic ;)

Thursday, December 23, 2004

~*NOW PLAYING: Over and Over by Nelly feat. Tim McGraw *~

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it, yeah, I can't shake it

I can't wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And it's a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again
But I think she's leaving
Oh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I can't go on not loving you)

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that you would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps playing in my head
Over and over again
Playing my head
Over and over again
I think she's leaving
Oh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I can't go on not loving you)

Now that I've realized that I'm going down
From all this pain you've put me through
Everytime I close my eyes I lock it down
Oh, I can't go on not loving you

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


Invisible war, seems we're fighting an invisible war
Strained maneuvres, keeping silent score
In this invisible war
Everyday I seem to lose you more
Both wishing it was like before
In this invisible war

Talk about a fine line between love and hate
We've lost more than our direction of late
Talk about a fine line between lovers and friends
We've never been lovers and now we're not even friends

In this invisible war, seems we're waging an invisible war
Everyday I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

It wounded deeply the scar is here to stay
Opening up at all the little things I do and say
You always want things to be as before
So I make you angry and you bleed a little more

In this invisible war, seems that we're waging an invisible war
Everyday I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

Want to go away, I still love you
Got to go away, I always love you
Got to be away, Time heals all wounds.

Invisible war.

~ Julia Fordham

Monday, December 20, 2004

~* PLEASE GOD... *~

I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't sleep right now either.

Please God, please. Please help make this work. I'm so tired of all the screw ups. I soooo want this to work.

So near yet so far.

Seems I'm waging an invisible war. ~ Julia Fordham

When all the stars were falling, I reached up like you said. All the stars were falling and one hit me in the head. And I fell down, down, down. I fell down. ~ Lisa Loeb

So what is this weather, what is this darkness?
Why do I feel so alone? ~ Lisa Loeb

It's like, I have no right to ask him how he feels. Who am I to him anyway? I am not the center of his universe. I don't want to make an ass of myself. I've been in that road before. I have no right, I have no right... I have to freakin' say this over and over to myself. This is crazy. But I would embrace all this craziness if my wager would one day finally be replaced with certainty and happiness.

It's like, I can't even say that I miss him terribly and that I wish he was here with me. Who am I to say that? I have no right.

Saturday, December 18, 2004


'Had our company Christmas party yesterday night. Twas held in our very own cafeteria which was magically transformed into a jungle -- complete with dried leaves, trees and flowing water on the side. Most of the employees were dressed in safari-inspired outfits and jungle animal costumes. We hired two face painters so most of us had our faces painted to match our outfits.

me, my purrfectly painted face and my velvet catsuit!

the Entertainment Imaging team (we sell motion picture films). we gals borrowed our costumes from Viva Entertainment. last photo: me, bianx, ed, vic and jane.

i'm gonna miss this boss of mine!
buddy is my boss for my other dept. - Digital & Applied Imaging (we sell digicams & inkjet paper). he's pursuing greener pasture by end of this month. left photo: buddy, me and vic.

with edwin who used to be with Entertainment Imaging. he's with the consumer group now.

with gizelle in our FHM-ish pose :P

the three felines of the night with, ermm, the Lion King :P
with pam (left) and jane (right).

with other party animals!
clockwise: (1) with luigi, wilma, ge and rico; (2) with darius, michelle, sheryl, joan and wena; (3) with evelyn; (4) with razel and yeyette.

Saturday, December 11, 2004


After our product launch at MyCinema Greenbelt, I commuted to DISH (at ABS-CBN's The Loop) for the first time *gasp* (In the past, I usually met up with Teena and the rest of the gals at Shangri La mall...) So anyway, I asked my officemates how to get there via MRT. Holy cow, it's soooo nakakawindang to ride the MRT! Way too many people in one square meter. Gaaaah. I went to the MRT station near SM Makati and caught a train to Quezon Ave from there. When I went down at the Quezon Ave., I had totally no idea which direction of the street I was supposed to hail a cab. Twas hard to get a cab on the street where I stood (I haven't the faintest idea which street that was... I supposed it was an intersection of Quezon Ave and ermmm, EDSA???? I dunno :P) so I crossed the street and went to the opposite side of the road. After a coupla minutes more, I successfully hailed a cab. 'Nyeta, one turn lang pala, ABS CBN na eh. Funny. I thought ABS was on the other side of the street. Hayyy. I should have read something like Going to The Loop (ABS CBN) for Dummies. :P

Met Mika and Sybs at Starbucks first. Met their cool AA English teacher Karen. Greeted Robi inside Starbucks. Hung out with Mika, Sybs and Karen til past 9pm at Starbucks. We proceeded to Dish and met up with Tere and her lovely "couple" friends Mina & Topey. Greeted birthday girl Tita Sherbet inside Dish. Rhada (sp?) performed during the first set and the Akafellas during the second set. Teena and Hogi arrived later on. Hitched a ride to Alabang with a very sleepy Pau (we dropped off Jhett to his house somewhere in, hmm, I dunno where the heck that was! haha!). Got home around 1:30am.

Peechur, peechur... ;)

(1) me, mika and sybs with her glamorous pearls; (2) mika, sybs and me at the ladies' room *LOL*; (3) topey, mina and the very posh tere
Dang! I didn't get the note that said "Come in all-glam outfit" ;)

the fellas sans ikey (who was still sick *aww*) and roger (who had a san mig gig, i think...)

(1) karl, tere, myke, jhett, me and reubs (reubs, oist, wala akong bilbil and flabby arms, okei?! tama na ang pag-pinch!:P); (2) hogi, pau and me; (3) robi (trying the tough-guy image, hehe) me and pau; (4) teena, robi, hogi, me, pau and jhett

Kooky/fun shots: (1) pau, hogi and teena; (2) teena and jhett

Sunday, December 05, 2004


let my eyes speak
of my love: hear them.
the tenderness of my touch
is saying something: listen.

there are no words,
i find no words.
with you i turn mute.

you must listen.
listen to my quiet
listen to my hush
and be deafened by my feeling.

~ mila reyes garcia

Wednesday, December 01, 2004


*WARNING: incoherent/random thoughts up ahead... this post may not make sense but I just find comfort in seeing the words on my PC monitor.


I am so scatter-brained these days. I'm restless. I'm anxious. I feel fidgety. I feel "sabog". It's like I'm floating. Like an out-of-body experience. I feel like wandering aimlessly onto an empty long quiet road. I seem to have lost my sanity overnight. I don't even feel I am fully HERE right now. I feel lost. It's like i'm crashing into something I cannot even see. It's like tossing and turning while trying to fall asleep... but I sooo wanna keep awake because I want to think, think, think and overanalyze the shit out of certain things.

Did I unconsciously send out a wish to the universe that I want this to happen to me? Is this upheaval in my life my own doing? Ahh. God is such a tease. He likes to give me "previews" of things that I am not even certain if He is EVER giving to me. I have been resigned to the thought that He won't. Maybe not in this lifetime. I want to think that the glass is half-empty rather than half-full so that I won't feel sorry for myself if it NEVER gets filled up EVER. They say "expect the worst" didn't they? I've set myself up for disappointment so that there will be less tears and less pain when the thing I fear most actually happens. What's the point of "positive thinking" if you're just bound to be hurt anyway? It would break your heart more if you put your eggs in one basket and if you have been on a "close-your-eyes-while-fervently-praying" mode and then nothing really ever happens. I would at least try to be very very brave as if my life depended on it. My lips might quiver a bit with fear and I might get teary-eyed as I hold my tears back. But I swear, I will try to be very brave til the end of this all.


I stay awake and I want you by my side...


Smashing Pumpkin's Landslide is on loop mode right now...

Mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
Time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older, too

I took my love and I took down
I climbed a mountain, I turned around
And if you see my reflection in a snow covered hill
The landslide brought it down.


Arggghhh. This is torture. I wish I knew how this ends. If this turns out to be another battle, I'd rather walk away right now.

Gaaah. I am friggin digging my own grave YET AGAIN. Good job, Self! Good job! *smell the burning sarcasm* Tsk, tsk. You even freakin' downloaded the song from Kazaa the other night. TSK, TSK!!! Crazy, crazy girl. I have been listening to the song over and over. Even singing to it. Oh f#@%. Screw PLAN A of NOT falling into the pit of crapdom. I am stupid, sorta uncontrollable and blind when it comes to these things. So sue me.

This is pathetic. I am fully aware of what I should not do yet I still fail to stop myself from doing it! Mind over heart, girl. Not heart over mind. PLEASE. For your own sanity?!


But life is too short for games. Anything less than mad, passionate love is a waste of time. But I don't want to make the SAME mistake again of making an ASS of U and ME.


Life is short my darling, tell me that you love me.


Love's been knockin' at your door
Do you hear it?
Do you really, really care?

Tell me it's not over now, will you?
So I won't be hangin' around
And you won't see me crying


Without hope or agenda, and just because it is Christmas (and you're supposed to tell the truth on Christmas), my wasted heart will always love you.

Hah. Saw this from Kiko's recent post. I absofreakinlutely luuuuv that line! I saw Love Actually already... I can't believe I missed that precious line! Awww. I remember the dude carrying those big signs on the gal's doorstep... Silent affirmation but definitely high-impact. Hayyy, 'must watch that DVD again... Then again, that can be *YET ANOTHER* suicidal move. Yey. Go tell the marines. Labooooo. I am so out of myself. So.. hmm... "gone"? I am physically and mentally tired/stressed from work but here I am typing away 30 mins. before midnight. My mind is restless. I am emotionally windang.

So help me God.


This will all make perfect sense someday.


You've sunk out at sea, crashed your car, gone insane. Do you *really* want to do that again?


She's a girl in a world, she's moving as fast as she goes
Loves her mom and her dad, the only secure that she knows
But at night, she's alone, she's dreaming of somebody new
Her someone for to hold, she's praying the dream will come true

Show me the way - show me, show me how
Help me be brave - for love

Show me the way - show me, tell me how
What do you say

There's a pain in her heart, she's trying so hard to unwind
Makes her cry in the night, when visions so real make her blind
Wants to break through the the fear
Erasing the scars from within
Start a new kind of being - she's down and she's praying again

You see she's
Turning the key, unlocking the door
Embracing the rollercoaster world
Stepping outside, with body and soul
Taking whatever future holds

Turning the key, unlocking the door
Embracing the rollercoaster world
Take it in stride, you're just twenty-five
And you know we've all been hurt before
Yeah we've all been hurt before
So you're not alone..., no...
You're not alone...

Monday, November 29, 2004


First, recommend to me:

1. A movie
2. A book
3. A musical artist, song, or album

Then ask me three questions, no more, no less.
Ask me anything you want.

Then go to your journal, copy and paste this same post allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me.

I stole this from tin.


'Got this from Abbie's blog...

Step One
Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your blog. The post should contain your list of holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and on-line related ("I'd love to have a new blog lay-out") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (non-online), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your blog so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
Surf around your blog list/hops, friendsters and friendslist and see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf (or fairy) -- to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not -- it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just wish... and it might come true. Give... and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

Awww, touching!

Here's my Online Christmas Wish List:

  1. 40GB or more hard drive so I can put all my mp3s there
  2. spankin' new component - all in one... DVD, VCD, MP3, Audio CD player, radio
  3. Tower Records/Music One/Powerbooks gift cheque
  4. kikay undies from WomenSecret or Marks & Spencer
  5. aquamarine slim jacket from MANGO
  6. Felicity Season 2 to 4 DVD (yes, like Abbie, even pirated ones will do :P)
  7. A 100% M for Abbie ;)
  8. happy love/career life (whichever they most prefer) for all my gal friends
  9. CD of: Kjwan, Session Road, Kitchie Nadal, 50 First Dates soundtrack, Reality Bites soundtrack, Walk to Remember soundtrack, Eraserheads Anthology (?) (basta, that best of E'heads album...), Dreamsounds 1 ( I have Dreamsounds 2 na)
  10. broadband connection! DSL!
  11. free treatment by my derma
  12. Body Shop's Born Lippy Strawberry Lip Balm
  13. intricately-designed funky Swarovski chandelier earrings
  14. purple/pink Swarovski eternity ring/earrings/pendant
  15. more Friendster/MySpace testimonials
  16. more guestbook logs on my website
  17. more comments and tags on my blogs
  18. uber-romantic dinner at Vivere rooftop
  19. Boracay/Cebu/Palawan beach trip with friends
  20. Five People You Meet in Heaven book
  21. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book (I have the Mars & Venus out on a date book already...)
  22. Unbearable Lightness of Being book
  23. Who Moved my Cheese? book
  24. a dictionary of dreams (a dream interpretation thingiemajig)
  25. nice silver picture frame
  26. DVDs of titles I can't find: Pretty in Pink, Dream for an Insomniac, Music from Another Room, Don't Tempt Me, Motorcyle Diaries
  27. any Moonflower stuff from Body Shop
  28. kikay crystal/bead/bronze/colored shell earrings, bracelet or necklace
  29. kikay bag (a gal can never have enough bags! ;) )
  30. anything Buttercup (of the Powerpuff Girls)
  31. anything cutesy with butterfly design
  32. meet Brad Turvey again. And sige na nga, Chico and Del din ;)
  33. Tagaytay bulalo and sizzling sisig!
  34. First and last call of the day
  35. THE ONE


I luv Monday holidays! This is the second time in November that we had a non-working holiday on a Monday. Such holidays mean that I can still go out on a Sunday night :) Had sooooo much fun yesterday! I haven't had that much fun for a long time now :)

Charo and I watched the 4pm screening of NATIONAL TREASURE at Festival Mall. Oh such a kick-ass movie! Gooooo watch it! Super asteeeeeg! Winner sya, grabeh. After that, we headed to McDo to satisfy my craving for Royal Tru-Strawberry float and Twister fries. Ahhh, yummy! That strawberry float is pure heaven. *sigh*

We waited up for Abbie who decided to follow after we all thought that she couldn't make it anymore coz of her ever-strict parents. So Charo and I went through almost all the pearls and Swarovski stalls at Festival Mall... I was on a quest for the perfect Swarovski chandelier earrings. Hayyy. It's almost as difficult as finding THE ONE! *LOL* I found an almost perfect one which needed an eensie-weensie modification... I asked the muslim if she could change one of the crystals on the earrings to another color but *hmp* she was so unaccommodating. I was annoyed na so I didn't buy from her anymore. Anyway, after the long search through probably almost 50 stalls, I didn't find any chandelier earrings that was good enough for me :( 'Soooo frustrating.

We went to Congo Grille at Westgate to eat dinner. Kaloy and Jako met up with us there. And when The Incredibles get together, we get picture-crazy...

By 12 midnight, we headed to Binan at OTB. We passed by 7-11 first, to get Vodka and Sprite to make *whatelse* Vodka Sprite! Yebbah. The great videoke king and queen challenge... *LOL*

It's been a long time since I last went videoke'ing. Soooo much fun! But it's insanely sadistic/masochistic though how they/I chose uber-sad songs for me to sing. Hmm, lemme see what I can still remember... I sang these last night: Til My Heartaches End, Dreaming of You, Friend of Mine, 214, I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me, Even If, Stay, You Won't See Me Crying, Weak... They sang: True, One Hello, Through the Fire, Back for Good, Goodnight Girl, This Guy's in Love with you Pare, Out of Reach, When I Met You, Maybe... a Lionel Richie song and some familiar Tagalog songs whose titles I don't know.

Up to now though, I can't freakin figure out why the hell all videoke songs are basically boobs and butt parades. It is so distracting and hilariously sick to sing along to a mushy love song while seeing Rebecca Romjin-Stamos (sp?) or some other chick frolicking at the beach while clad in a skimpy bikini outfit. There's even a footage where this girl clad in a two-piece gyrates in the midst of a cheering African tribe or sumthin. Imagine seeing that while reading the lyrics of I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me or some other sappy mush. Verrrry distracting to say the least. *LOL* Gaaah. The videoke-making industry is run by sick sick pervs. Hahaha.

Oh well. Got home around 3am. Totally had a blast. Such a happy day.

~* NOW PLAYING: Buses and Trains by Bachelor Girl * ~

Hey Mom
Why didn't you tell me
Why didn't you teach me a thing or two
You just let me go out into the world
You never thought to share what you knew

So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good, I want to do it again

Hey Mom
Why didn't you warn me
Coz about boys is something I should have known
Their like chocolate cake
Like cigarettes
I know they're bad for me
But I just can't leave 'em alone

I wanna do it again
Oh, felt so good

Hey Mom
Since we're talking
What was it like when you where young
Has the world changed or is it still the same
A man can kill and still be the sweetest fun

Sunday, November 21, 2004


Went to ATC this afternoon and met up with Teena, Hogi, Rommel, Tere, Glenda and Mina. We watched the 'fellas perform for the Hush Puppies fashion show. (The guys sang the "Bounce" Hush Puppies radio ad.)

At starbucks with teena and hogi. i dunno what's up with us all wearing black tops... purely coincidental! :) (photo by tere)

tere, glenda and mina... (photo by tere)

'Couldn't resist the adorable hush puppies (basset hounds)... :)

*toink* :P

*aww* soooo cute!!!

While waiting for the show to start...

teena, rommel, jen, hogi and me

Now isn't this worth the wait? ;)...

Commercial model Alvin Alfonso

The AKAfellas on stage sans Pau who had (cooking?) classes ... Robi's so thin na!

After the show...

Very first pic with the newbie fella Jhett :)


Hermm. Had to be on kapal mode. I just tapped him and asked for a pic with him. Gaaah. Oh well -- no guts, no picture!:P

Such a hot boi! (Alvin Alfonso)

Monday, November 15, 2004


What me and my friends have been YM confy'ing about lately has made me realize some basic theories that I strongly feel are true to almost everyone who has fallen in love at one point or another in this mad, mad world. After all, I believe that people come into our lives for a reason. They have a purpose in your life whether they stay with you for the long haul or just briefly make a cameo. In the hundreds of people that we will meet during our lifetime, there will be a handful who are destined to leave an indelible mark in your heart and soul. Whether it's been a good or bad relationship and whether you like it or not, that person will be written in your own little history. In the same way, you will also be inevitably in theirs.

YOUR ONE GREAT LOVE: He will always be the person who'll remain in your heart forever. You wistfully look back and remember the magical moments, the ecstacy, the bliss, the pure, pure love that you have shared. You have given your 100% to this person. When you were with him, you believed you could achieve great things together. You felt safe with him. He was your shelter from the storm. He was the lighthouse that guides you. He was your "home". The love you felt was so deliriously great that you almost thought it was a dream. There may be some things that you didn't like about him but you accepted him for all that he was simply because you loved him.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY: There will always be some nights when you will be tortured with the "what if"s and "what could have been"s. You regret leaving or letting go of that person. He used to be yours but now he's forever gone. Because of your pride, stupidity, irrationality or stubbornness, you have lost this person. You fervently wish you could bring him back in your arms but current circumstances make this highly improbable. Sometimes you wish you met him now instead of before because now you are a better, more mature person who can better handle a relationship with him. You two just had the right love at the wrong time.

THE ONE WHO SUCKED OUT THE ROMANCE IN YOU: This is a person you used to love but now hate and/or blame for making you what you are now: a jaded/cynical miserable/lonely beeeotch/drama queen. He has rudely jolted you back to grim reality. Now you think that Disney and the rest of Hollywood is a bad, bad entity who deluded you to believe that there is that one person in the world destined for you. The one true love. Your soul mate. THE ONE. The truth is, maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll find happiness in a special someone, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be knocked off your feet and be swept away by your knight in shining armor, maybe you won't. Deep down inside you hope but you don't exactly hold your breath for it. You have grown tired of waiting and searching. You have virtually given up on love. You've set yourself up for disappointment so that there will be less tears, less pain when the thing you fear the most actually happens. You don't allow yourself to be consumed by endless worrying whether you'll end up alone or not. But despite everything, this person had made you strong in some way. You can put your chin up and bravely face whatever fate slaps you with because you know you'll be alright, whether attached or unattached.

THE ONE WHO BROKE YOUR HEART THE BADDEST: He has given you the worst heartbreak ever. You are not sure if time can heal all wounds. You don't know IF and WHEN you will be over him. There are no more words to describe how much your heart aches. Loving him has been a battle and you ended up with scars. But as they say, if someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them. Forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

"Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help create who you are and who you become. "


"Don't become angry with or resentful of the people who come to play in our healing dramas. God does not always send you what you think you want. God will send you what you need in order to heal.

In the meantime, you must remember that just when things look like they are falling apart, they are actually falling into place -- the divine place they should be for everyone involved."
~In The Meantime


"There are too many mediocre things in life and love should not be one of them. Anything less than mad, passionate love is a waste of time."~ Dream for an Insomniac


It's the lover (not the love) who broke your heart last night
It's the lover (not the dream) that didn't work out right
If you listen to your heart, you'll know it's true
that it's the lover not the love who deserted you.
~ It's the Lover Not the Love (Tiffany)

~* G AT ATC *~

It's a holiday today so my highschool friends and I decided to meet up and hang out at ATC yesterday. Charo and I were there by 2:30pm and we watched TAXI (Jimmy Fallon/Queen Latifah) first since Abbie was gonna arrive around 6ish pm pa. Twas a fun movie. I liked Jimmy Fallon eversince I saw him in those uber-funny spoofs he did while hosting MTV (movie?) awards. I can never forget that Enrique Iglesias and Nelly spoof he did plus the Madonna spoof he did with Kirstin Dunst :P

Catch phrase of the day: "Can you do us?" That definitely didn't sound right. Hellooo, Abbie kasi texted us to go to California Advanced Nail & Skincare and ask them if they can do us pa. What, are we supposed to run around at ATC and randomly ask, "Can you do me?"!?!. We meant pedicure, by the way ;)

The three of us had dinner at Fridays and then proceeded to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf to wait for Jako, Kaloy and Troy. We watched THE INCREDIBLES. Can I just say that Pixar rocks?! I luuuv the hair of Elastagirl -- the highlights and details of her hair was sooo real. The water splashes and the green foliage were very realistic too. My fave is Dash... that kid is sooo adorable *awww*. Ahh pero winner their baby-- asteeeg!:P

After the movie, we went picture-crazy at Corte de las Palmas (?)...

THE GANG: Kaloy, me, Charo, Abbie, Troy and Jako

And then we stopped over at KFC Shell at the SLEX and went picture-crazy again...

By 2ish am they brought us home and they have gone picture-crazy right at our house's gate...

Sunday, November 14, 2004


heya people!:-) I'm due to submit my column for our office newsletter. It's for the Jan-Mar issue so i'm doin' a Valentine thingiemajig.

need ur creative/crazy/funny/witty ideas...


I'm writing it with the premise that flowers, chocolates and poetry are too predictable and plain na... so the more unusual, the better ;)

thanks in advance for ur help :)

Saturday, November 13, 2004


Quite an unusual reggae night at Xaymaca yesterday.

UNUSUAL #1: Yahoo! It's a miracle! There's flush na in Xaymaca's rest room! :P Isn't that heaven? Hehe. I dunno since when they finally had this flash (no pun intended :P) of realization that they direly need to have their plumbing done. It's about time!

UNUSUAL #2: Funny how it took me probably 30 minutes before I realized that it was Kat De Castro et al. who were occupying the table beside ours! I saw kasi this dude clad in black security uniform and I wondered out loud to my sis "Hmm, sino kayang VIP ang nandito... ba't may security?" Even funnier how it wasn't top-of-mind for me to tag her as the daughter of THE Vice President of the Phils.!:P I was more like, ya know, ahh she's the daughter of Noli De Castro the journalist/reporter dba? It totally skipped my mind that he IS the freakin' VP of GMA. *toinks self* (DOI!) I was even trying to recall (and asked myself) if I voted for him last election. So anyway, she was seated right beside me. She was with her husband Eric and some dude who looked familiar (must be a reporter). During the first set of Brownman Revival, their presence was acknowledged. Even had some songs dedicated to them. With Xaymaca's bouncer blocking off the side near the entrance and two more security dudes stationed near their table, our area was pretty much amiss of the frenzied reggae-dancing, hip-swaying denizens. So we were like: ooookaaaaay. ummm, are we allowed to stand up and dance or not? So anyway, after warming up, we were like, oh what the heck, let's freakin stand up and dance! I, for that matter, felt a bit self-conscious dancing since there were no crowd in front of me to "cover" me up. Ahh well, after the San Mig Light kicked in, I loosened up a bit na.

It was quite "back to normal" come second set of BMR since there were at least more dancing people in front of our table and everybody stepped up the cushioned bench-- I was on the chair this time since it was kinda crowded na on the bench. Hmm, nice to have that little platform all to myself although half the time I was conscious not to sway or jump too much for fear of being caught off-balance. It was NOT on my to-do list to "dive" on the table. It was pleasing to see that even Kat and Eric were dancing on top of their cushioned bench too. I'm relieved to know that she is, after all, as human as the rest of us. They had monopoly though of the most wanted electric fan. Everywhere they went--on top of the bench dancing, sitting down, in front of their table--the electric fan was faithfully aimed at them by an ever-alert bouncer. Oh well. Cold air is a precious commodity for the privileged few ;)

UNUSUAL #3: Such a fun night too for meeting new friendly people :) My sister met Ek last week but it was my first time to speak with her last night. It was basically a night with the BMR dude's S.O.s... Ek is the gf of Jao (bass), Claire is with Dennis (drums) and Lizzie is with Dino (vocals). It was nice to find out that they are nice, outgoing, friendly people to hang out with :) Abbie was with her siblings plus another friend.

What's a fun night without pictures , roooight?!

L to R: Abbie, me, Claire, my sis, Ek and Lizzie

Abbie, me and Claire

L to R: Claire, Lizzie, me, my sis and Ek
*FORCES girls: comment on my Tabulas, okei? ;)

Sunday, November 07, 2004


'Got this from Sybil's blog:

Pick a band + Answer using only titles of their songs

*I've got 4 albums of Incubus baby!*

.:Are you male or female: Southern Girl
.:Describe yourself: A Certain Shade of Green/Stellar
.:How do some people feel about you: Nice to Know You
.:How do you feel about yourself: Just a Phase
.:Describe your ex: Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity Love Song) / Nowhere Fast
.:Describe your views on your significant other: Wish You Were Here/I Miss You
.:Describe what you want: Stellar/Priceless/Favorite Things
.:Describe how you live: Sick Sad Little World
.:Describe how you love: Talk Shows on Mute/Wish You Were Here
.:Share a few words of wisdom: Make Yourself/Are You In?


While I'm at it... Let me indulge. Here are some of my favorite lyrics from Incubus:

If the world would fall apart
In a fiction-worthy wind
I wouldn't change a thing
Now, that you're here

~ Here in My Room (A Crow Left of the Murder)

There’s something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you’re so worth the fight

Could you show me dear, something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting

~ Echo (Morning View)


To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.

~ I Miss You (Make Yourself)

Meet me in outer space.
I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way
that I can show you how
it feels to be inside of you.

How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do.
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew.

~ Stellar (Make Yourself)


I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment
I am happy, happy
I wish you were here

~ Wish You Were Here (Morning View)

a three-fold utopian dream.


Was happy last night coz I went out and spent some time with friends whom I haven't seen for such a long time... Awww, I miss this bunch...

Went to St. Scho last night with Teena and Peachy to watch Hogi in JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT. I'm not much of a theater person but I welcomed the thought of watching one coz lately I've been bored with all that reggae bar thing that I've been doing. And of course, coz Hogi's there! ;) I haven't ever seen her on stage so it's pretty nice to watch a play with her in it. I loved the lighting effects...

Look at Hogi dance!

This is my uber-fave picture. I absolutely love the dramatic effect of the blue light.



Wehehe. I was kiddin' with Peachy that Joseph's technicolor dreamcoat looked sooo gay :P

After greeting Hogi after the show, we headed to Dish to watch the 'fellas. Peachy had to go home na. Teena and I met up with June at Dish.

With Teena and June...

IT'S BEEN A LOOONG TIME! Hayyy. Yeah, I haven't been to any of the guys' gigs for like 3 months already. I sooo miss their music! I was very happy to see everyone. I sooo missed the hugs and besos! Pau, Robi and Roger hung out a bit at our table before their set. I greeted Ikey, Karl, Mike (and Ehra), Jhett and Kyla after the show. Twas my first time to watch the guys with Jhett who was relatively new in the *ehem* voice band. They performed sans Reubs who was still in a debut (he was the escort).

Aww, I miss these guys...

Funny how I got a bit tipsy after drinking a cocktail called Apple Temptation and only one bottle of Vodka Ice. Hellllooo, I usually down San Migs at the reggae bar and I don't get that tipsy! I figure it's coz we were just there sitting down. No sweating involved. Hehehe. I was even telling June that I'm no longer used to taking pictures of the guys on stage. Parang biglang nahiya ako sa M.I.B.-ishly blinding camera flash of my digicam. Weeeeird.

Hurray for me, I heard a new song in their repertoire: Part-Time Lover!:) Jhett and Robi sang the lead. Hermm. Wasn't able to capture that precious Kodak moment of Pau and his microphone which sorta fell apart in the midst of their performance:P He was like sorta asking me from the stage if I got it on vid or pic. Dang. Well, he was happy I wasn't able to. Hehehe.

bumper sticker-ish. hermm. 'doesn't sound right. :P

Hitched a ride with Robi after the gig. Twas nice catchin' up with him. I've been so out of the loop that it wasn't until I asked him did I actually find out that it's been 2 weeks since he resigned from Wave! *toinks self* The ride was fun coz I got to chat with Jhett too who usually hitched with Robi pala after their gigs. Didn't get to talk to him that much when I first met him at Teena's birthday party. 'Turns out he's fun to chat with. I told him I was disappointed that he did not do his famous Pilita Corales move that night. HAH! Maybe next time.

Hmmm. MUST watch these guys more often. Who knows when...? Hayyy. Sadness naman. :(

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

~* NOW PLAYING: Winter Pageant by Aromabar *~

I decided to scrap putting depressing sappy mellow rock/pop on my blog for now. It would be too depressing to hear Coldplay's The Scientist in the background during cold late nights. So anyway, since I am feeling blah, I wanted something dreamy and ethereal... hence, my favorite track on the The Lounge Story compiled by Anton Ramos (of the Chillout Project compilations...)

Strangely, I could not Google any lyrics for it. The lyrics are pretty simple and repetitive anyway. You'll get the drift. Lest you fall asleep or get weirdly high on the ethereal voice of the female vocalist of Aromabar.

... What part did I play in making you the way you are? What more can I say to
convince you... you didn't have to go so far...
~ Winter Pageant, Aromabar