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Saturday, October 28, 2006


So Tin and I owe Abbie big time huh. Rock gigs are definitely not Abbie's thing but she willingly went with us in ParaƱaque last night to drive back and forth in Aguirre St. for one hour, getting lost in trying to find this place called Al's Bar where Faspitch was supposed to play. We stopped several times all over Aguirre St. to ask for directions and nobody in the world seemed to know where the freak Al's Bar is. We ran into some cute BF Homes residents and even this former (?) Magic 89.9 jock King DJ Logan to ask if they knew where the bar was. Finally, I got hold of Alex "Phat Boy" Lim's celfone number and so we called him up and asked where the heck Al's Bar was. Well, a piece of advice to whoever owns Al's Bar (actually "Al's Place" as the poorly-lit tarpaulin banner read)... go get yourself a freaking illuminated sign!!! Arghhh. The frustration of being lost for an hour, hehe. I love Abbie for being so ever-patient in driving for us despite being tired from work and being hungry. If I were you, I would have been cursing all over the place. Patience is not one of my virtues :p Damn, now we owe you our company for some artsy play you'd want to see in the future huh? ;-)

When we got there, this other heavy metal/speed metal/death metal kind of band was playing. Very 'blast from the past'. Reminiscent of Slayer, Megadeth, Pantera of the 90s. Complete with the 360 degrees headbanging of the long-haired guitarist.

Faspitch started playing round 12MN. Funny, Abbie said she didn't like Henry coz he was just sitting pretty there at the back seat of the bar while Russell, Trick, Trevor and Pacco were setting up, doing sound check and stuff on stage. So I was like "Uhh, so panong gusto mong gawin nya, magvovocalize sya like mi-mi-mi-mi-mi.....?" LOL :p Oh and another totally hilarious comment from her was when she described Henry as looking like he was in the brink of having a heart attack with the way he sang in that hmm strangely intense way I mentioned in my previous blog post.

Anyway, that FP performance weren't as great as the one Tin & I saw at 6Underground last week. Not really FP's fault though. It was the sound system that kinda sucked. The speakers squeaked with intermittent feedback; The mic was not loud enough -- Henry's low pitch/soft vocals were drowned by the drums & guitars, you'll only hear Henry's voice when he's already all growly and screamo; Russell's kick-ass screamo vocals were hardly audible; Trick had guitar trouble so he had to change guitars in the middle of Dweller, the replacement guitar sounded a tad off-tune by the time he did riffs for Breathe, the guitar strap fell off by the time they were playing Staying This Way so poor Trick had to play guitar while crouching/sitting down on stage until some kind soul gave him a chair to sit on. They sooo wanted to get off stage by the time they finished Staying This Way. No encore. Oh well.

Well at least the happy thing about the night was that I managed to have my Future of Ear Repair cd inlay signed by all of the Faspitch guys. Brownie points for them coz they personalized it. Not a lot of artists care enough to ask my name. 'Really says a lot in my book. Another one for my collection of signed OPM cds ;)

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So anyway, Tin has sworn off Colt Ice for now. I did not dare touch one coz I knew Colt 45 was a strong beer. I was happy with my San Mig Light.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


Last Saturday night, Tin and I went to 6Underground (Makati) to watch Faspitch and Dicta License. Haven't gone to a band gig for a loooong time now. I think the last one was back in March when Tin (always my partner in crime when it comes to rock gigs) and I went to San Mig Alabang to watch Urbandub, UpDharmaDown, etc. So anyway, it was such a great gig to go to coz not only did we get to watch Faspitch live for the first time, but we also got to see Dicta License again. The last time we saw Dicta perform live was hmm, late last year at 19East (Sucat). Really, it was due time for me to go out and have my ears blasted with loud music!

The gig last Saturday was a SONIC BOOM event which boasted of a band line-up of: The Ambassadors (second time for me to see these guys... last time was at SaGuijo w/ U'dub. The vocalist still tugs on his shirt when he sings. Green Day-ish type of music. And yeah, their video is that one with the robot and the cameos of U'dub), this other band from Olongapo (?) -- 'forgot the name (well if you sing a rocked out version of Bon Jovi's You Give Love a Bad Name... hmm. I don't wanna say mean things. hah!) Hilera (Nescafe Soundskool winner last year. Did the 80s punk-sounding Rhyme Without Reason which did well on NU107's charts. The vocalist somehow reminds me of Borgy Manotoc. Probably a stockier version of him), Dicta License (Strangely, the crowd was less than rowdy. They were probably too mesmerized by how damn good-looking the entire band is, hehe. Pochoy tries to draw attention to their socio-political lyrics but nah, I still can't help but switch my concentration between him and Boogie. Hah! No, but seriously, I commend them for trying to bring a certain social consciousness to the audience with their songs), Typecast (rockers from Laguna -- represent! woooo! Twas my first time to see these guys perform live), and of course, the band Tin and I had long been anticipating to see live -- Faspitch!

I only know Faspitch from their song A Day Before Pisces which was included in this compilation album called Full Volume which I bought around Jan 2005. I vaguely remember hearing their song in NU with the LSS-inducing line "... then I'll ask if it's all standard information that, it's all standard information that way...". Try listening to it. That line's really gonna stick to your head. I don't really get what the song means. Another disco is blown. Anyway, it rocks ;-) Been seeing them in MTV Sessions this month coz they're the Rising Star artist this month. Was pretty much blown away by their performance in that show so I was really excited to see them live. Henry is one of those vocalists who show real intensity when he sings/screams... a bit strange though coz he does these weird quasi-robotic movements that remind me of Max Headroom. Like he closes his eyes and then raise his hand and does this abrupt stop-go-stop-go movement. Hmm. Poor explanation there. You just have to see them live to see what I mean. They're aliw to watch when all four of them up front bang their head in unison with their drummer's hits.

So I got their album The Future of Ear Repair and I've seen them perform live. You'll hear tinges of U'dub sound in them but with crunchier guitars, screamo-growly vocals here and there -- definitely much much nosier than U'dub's music. The tempo varies within each song -- some songs start fast-noisy and then shift to slow-quiet; full crunch of the guitars/drums/screaming vocals and then later on some prominent bass lines/guitar strumming/soft vocals. Surprisingly, their songs are actually about love (encounters and endings) and a certain queen of the lyricist's heart. Strange comparison here: when Henry sings with his high almost-falsetto vocals, his voice reminds me of Jeff Buckley. And Russel (guitars) does surprisingly mean/angry screams which is layered with Henry's vocals. These two guys' screaming/growly vocals remind me of Pantera (Heh. Eww, I can't believe I'm making "old" references!). Anyway, I've got to say that Faspitch is really a kick-ass band. I sure would want them to get (or at least be nominated for) the upcoming NU Rock Awards' Rising Sun Artist which recognizes new bands in the scene. So there. Another great band from Cebu invades Manila. Indeed, Lighter Records is succeeding with spreading the sound from the south ;-)

And now for the photos of the night... (Sorry, most of the photos don't have the drummers on it coz the angle from where we sat didn't have a great view of 'em. Oh and they're quite dark coz I HATE camera flashing which totally spoils the stage lighting.)

the ambassadors



dicta license


me & tin

caught boogie & pochoy (dicta license) outside 6Underground...

met the very affable henry (faspitch) after the gig


Maybe I'll just dream of this tonight
Drive a stake into a love that no one finds...

~All Under Heaven, Faspitch

Saturday, October 14, 2006


The frequency of weddings that I am invited to/happen to know of is alarming me. It's like this clock ticking inside my head. Nevertheless, what I love about weddings is the celebration of love, faith and hope... the taking of memorable photographs... and the chance to dress up, glam up and look fab. Well... primarily, just because of the last reason, hah!:p

Last Oct 7 (Sat), my friends and I went to the wedding reception (albeit fashionably late) of Tonet & Aimee. Tonet is one of my high school classmates. I'm not sure why I was invited -- probably the friend-in-law theory of Seinfeld, haha! (He's a friend of Abbie). Anyway, what I eternally dread and hate about weddings is that part when they call on the singles in the house and do those ridiculous games that IMHO spells total social embarrassment and disaster to the single on the spotlight. As I predicted, I was summoned by the groom -- not once, not twice but -- three freaking times! I had to ignore him thrice. Haha. Sorry Tonet! Just not my thing ;-)

After the wedding reception at Manila Southwoods, we proceeded to Westgate Alabang to eat, drink & be merry (well, ALMOST) and then capped off the night at Starbucks SLEX. Pictures galore as usual. What do you expect when Abbie and I both brought our beloved digicams?! We've both been experimenting with our respective digicam's settings to get those psychedelic streaks of light. The pictures turned out extremely artsy like we wanted to :)

charo, abbie & i w/ the SOs of our guy friends from high school

us fabulous gals with the groom

abbie, me, charo & jako

Monday, October 09, 2006


I don't like the fact that a certain person so affects me in a negative way such that he brings out the biatch in me. I hate being consumed with anger this way. Sooo not good for my karma & aura. I don't want to be a bad person. But I am only a biatch with heartless players. I am actually non-confrontational. Hence, I fight with the words I write. I just tend to lash out and vent in writing but never face to face. I will probably just end up crying with anger if I attempt a confrontation.

What infuriates me is that on the verge of over-analyzing it, I realize that his ultimate reason for giving me that new year apology was just to save his own ass and buy himself out of the guilt. Like a ticket to instant peace of mind. That's not really being sorry. That's just being selfish.

I cannot help but compare. Somebody else has inflicted the same amount of pain on me but I truly forgave that person because I felt that he was really really sorry with all his heart. He was aware that he had seriously done me wrong and was very haunted with the thought that he has broken my heart. There was at least some sympathy sent my way. And I felt his sincere effort to compensate for the mistake he has done. I felt that he respected my feelings. He has apologized probably ten times without me even asking for it. Even two years after, upon greeting me during my birthday, he was still saying sorry that it made my heart bleed and cry. Come to think of it, it made me weep whenever he asked for my forgiveness. But with this other one, when I was contemplating on giving my forgiveness, all I felt was contempt. And would you believe it, he did not even say thank you or anything, as in no nothing, after I said that he was forgiven. Wow. Gee thanks. I was disappointed with that non-reaction but I haven't said anything about it until now.

What enrages me is that he acts as if nothing happened. Like a totally shameless jerk. Like it's just one big entertaining game to him. As if he just did me this huge favor -- with him having already said sorry that one time. And he rubs it on my face this time, like wow, I should be grateful that he said sorry to me. Argghh. Unbelievable! It's so exasperating, I swear.

What upsets me is the fact that he has no freaking idea of the magnitude of the profound hurt, pain and heartbreak he has caused me. He doesn't know how he royally messed me up emotionally. He is utterly self-absorbed. Insensitive. Just because I didn't lash out any violent reaction directly at him, just because I didn't slap him, just because I did not bother him with midnight calls doesn't mean that I never cried. Hello, I am not made of stone. I am human. What kind of person does not have a full understanding of the fragility of the human heart? It's just so unbelievable that some people can just go on with their lives trampling over other people's hearts. How careless.

I may seem (operative word "seem") to be unaffected and nonchalant about it for the past 22 months but I am just trying to be brave. I have nothing else to cling to but my biatchiness. I have to be strong. I have to pretend that I have maximum tolerance of pain. I am letting myself be consumed with rage like this coz I would rather be angry than hurting. I am so tired of being emotionally abused. I am so tired of people letting me down. I am so tired of making these big leaps of faith that just end up as big disappointments. I am so tired of crying.

Say it ain't so
Your drug is a heartbreaker
Say it ain't so
My love is a lifetaker
~ Weezer

Sunday, October 08, 2006


I wish that someday I could meet someone who sees the world the same way that I do. Someone who sees beauty in the poetic emptiness of the street, glow of the lamp posts and blackness of the night. Someone who does not go: "Anong kinukuhanan mo dyan? Wala ka namang kinukuhanan dyan!". Argghh. Sooo not in the same wavelength. *rolls eyes*

Instead I am stuck with getting over some juvenile arrogant pompous asswipe. He's smart and he looks good -- but that's beside my bitchy point.

My, my, aren't we bitchy today?! I am just so consumed with rage that I am about to explode if I don't rant about this.

The night started ok. Fate was being an ass to me as usual, with the big joke being that he was the first person I saw when we got to the reception. And I ended up sitting beside him on the dinner table. Good thing I was seated far away from him when we were in Alabang. Or I would have whacked his head with the stupid tamborine just to shut him up.

Thank you Tin for being the bitch in me, haha:p Don't even think of apologizing! He deserved to be put in his freakin' place. Why can we not nail him for all the crapdom he did?!

Oh, to YOU. I lied. I haven't forgiven you. I revoke the pardon I gave you.

I detected mockery in his tone when he said "Sige na, nag-sorry na naman ko dba?! Sige na, picture na, lasing naman ako eh!". In all his inebriated asswipe glory. OH. MY. GAAH. I can't believe he said that! It was like friggin' drunk-dialing -- only, it happened on my goddamn face. I was cringing when I felt his hand on my hand, shoulder and waist. DON'T. EVER. TOUCH. ME. YOU. LITTLE. F*CKER. It was a totally revolting moment. How dare he touch me?! Saying [now-I-realize-insincere] sorry doesn't give you the right to invade my personal space. His touch brought split-second flashbacks of Dec 2004 and my knee-jerk reaction was utter abhorrence. Total animosity. Antipathy. Right then and there I wanted to: a) look him in the eye & waive an offending finger; b) exclaim "f*ck off!"; c) kick his balls; d) slap his arrogant face; e) all of the above. But then again, I thought, hey, I am bigger than this. I am not a crazy bitch. (I am only bitchy up to the point of dissing him on my blog...) So I opted to give everyone the evil eye, groan and walk away. I have never felt like slapping someone in utter disdain until that moment.

Tonight, and for all of the other nights to come, I will clench my fabulous hand in anger... and raise my middle finger.

Meanwhile, let me indulge in some Cake.

~* NOW PLAYING: Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley *~

This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then I'll go
You gave me more to live for
more than you'll ever know

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face?
Why can't we overcome this wall?
Well, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry
'Cause i know that in time
I'll YOU'LL only make you ME cry

This is our last goodbye

Did you say 'no, this can't happen to me,'
And did you rush to the phone to call
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime
Burning clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories
Offer signs that it's over... it's over

Thursday, October 05, 2006


Call it procrastination. Call it distraction. Call it boredom. *Guilty*, but I sure am proud how amazing this sketch turned out (while looking at an old photograph). I was actually just gonna doodle away my being unusually bored about life in general this morning when I got to work. But then it turned out to be an inspired sketch... Nevertheless, I miss doing old school mongol-pencil-and-plain-paper drawings out of nowhere. I miss creating beautiful things with my hands and this has just made me feel very happy about my accomplishment (but guilty about not doing serious work in the office!)

come a little closer flicker in flight *

Sunday, October 01, 2006


And back to the dark ages, we were. When typhoon Milenyo started to pick up around 9am Thursday, the electricity was cut while I was in the middle of downloading themes for my Nokia phone. By Friday morning, my celfone was dead.


1. internet
2. tv shows
3. chico & delamar
4. clean water & long baths
5. electric fan
6. lights
7. celfone
8. microwave
9. flushing the toilet bowl after every use
10. music fr. my stereo


1. our 90s era Honda generator
2. water tank
3. flashlight
4. candles
5. battery-operated radio
6. books
7. landline
8. sunshine
9. anahaw fans
10. old photo albums

Thank God for my Dad (always the superhero Mr. Fix-It) who drove with such zeal and persistence until he reached Taft Ave. last Friday morning to have our 90s era generator fixed. At least that meant a couple of hours electricity for the household -- just enough power to turn on the deep well water tank and fill it with water (which we shared w/ our relatives, of course), the refrigerators to avoid stale food, the aquarium pumps so dad's fishes won't die on us and a bit of quick showers for us to keep us from stinking. Even our poor shih tzu Chloe who smelled like a dirty wet rag managed to score a quick bath yesterday. She looked so weak with the hot weather (with all her thick hair and everything) that I fanned her for a while as she wagged her tail in delight.

The past three days sooo bored me out of my wits that I managed to finish reading the very boringly-written Persuasion (Jane Austen) by Friday afternoon. I liked how the story turned out but, really, it was such a dragging read! It was written on the 18th century so what could I expect but very bland, formal and royally boring old English.

It's weird to say, but I was actually tired of lying down and sleeping for the majority of the three days of darkness. The world was one big bore and there was nothing left to do but lie down, stare into the pitch blackness of the night and try to fall asleep. The perfect silence of the entire village magnified every creak and strange sound of the night. Good luck to the paranoid.