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Tuesday, March 08, 2005


Things are getting crazy in my head. Last night I was swimming in my thoughts ala High Fidelity. Was really almost inspired enough to SMS the Houdini men of my life and ask the million dollar question. Geez man, I would have been filthy rich by now if I got a dollar everytime the thought crossed my mind.

Love moves in mysterious ways... so friggin' mysterious that you don't know WTF happened. Some lame asswipe jerk just pulls the rug under your feet and lets you fall. F*cking great.

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me BACK TO YOU.

Things just got crazy at the office. Crazy, crazy people. (refer to tabulas friends-only post)

I have come to realize a nifty idea. Why not veer away from the usual emotional dramatic schmuck that I am and think, act and love like a man? You know, typical lives-only-for-the-moment kind of thing. Can go in and out of the moment in a snap with no emotional attachment whatsoever. Purely ego-tripping. Just for the heck of it. Shallow feelings. (What feelings?!?) Love 'em and leave 'em. No commitments. No labelling. No overanalyzing the sh*t out of things like quasi/pseudo/WTF relationships. Surely I can live in a world where relationships are not painstakingly built, feelings are carelessly handled, trust is never earned and everyone is being f*cking reckless with other people's hearts. Sometimes when I find myself feeling/falling, I tell myself: "think like a man! be like a man! goddammit!". I guess it's my new defense mechanism. Holy cow, I am transitioning into a jaded biatch! *gasp!*

Pretty tempting solution to the DQ syndrome. But then again, NOT. Nevertheless, my claim remains the same: I am a biatch only when provoked.

Squint your eyes and look closer. I am 32 flavors and then some.