First, some cool new terms I've learned from my officemates:
fly by night = think: he's just that not into you when he disappeared on you
M.O.R. or meaningful overnight relationship = ahh, you know what this means!
~o0O0o~
He never came back for me. We had something going and he abandoned me and went to another gal coz that's what he felt [yes. his exact words. 'makes so much sense, huh?]. But wait, there's more! [read like those stupid home TV shopping infomercials] ... But hey, that was not to say that I was not special and that it was nothing for him. Oh and yes, he says that whatever we had in that shortest time was true. Go figure. Either he is getting married soon (and you know how people try to tie loose ends and unresolved issues and do final closures and stuff before they get married...) or he is probably bothered and scared that, indeed, he WILL get what he deserves.
See, nowadays, people just relegate things to gray areas. Nothing is defined in black and white anymore. We fumble for terms to call "something" that is NOT QUITE something yet but IS actually MORE THAN a mere nothing. A semblance of a meaningful romantic relationship is now referred to as "something" and "whatever". I hope some genius out there comes up with a term to call those occasional somethings and whatevers that dot our lives at a certain point.
~o0O0o~
"How can you break my heart into pieces and say that it's for the best?"
Joey said something like that to Pacey in one of those Dawson's Creek episodes.
Maybe it's just because that love is actually finite and does not last forever as we have been made to believe. See, even Heather Locklear just broke up with Ritchie Sambora after being together for like 10 years or something. And you all know what happened to Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. And Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
I've just started reading Greg & Amiira Behrendt's It's Called A Break-up Coz It's Broken and in it, Greg states that he believes "sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning."
Maybe life would be so much better for everybody if we all subscribed to that train of thought. Then we wouldn't have these great expectations that make us vulnerable to having the rug pulled from under our feet. Then we wouldn't have to mourn over the loss of what-could-have-been's. Then we would only have nothing but words of thanks to the person: Thank you for my season. Short-lived that it was. That's life. Thank you for that one moment in time that you were mine.
Fate teases you with things you cannot have and people who simply cannot stay and love you back long enough. It is insane how cruel the way life's lessons must be learned. You have to live through it. It cuts you once and when you're almost over it left with a scab, it whips you with another one and makes you almost bleed to death this time around. No, you're not just walking wounded -- you are struggling, crawling, freezing, starving and bleeding to death [think: growly chorus to Tracy Bonham's "Mother, Mother"]. And then you read some cool book later, nod your head and say, "yeah, I can relate!" Oh, and as Amiira Behrendt says in the book: "At some point you realize that you're not going to die from a broken heart -- though you'll surely contemplate the feasibility of it for a while." So there ya go, folks. There is no escape. We just gotta live through it.
Oh. And DON'T greet me with a "happy valentine's day!" thing. Just shut up if you know what's good for you ;p
