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Wednesday, August 23, 2006


TOBY, The Thunder from Down Under. If you've seen Toby Rand's shirtless performance tonight, you'd know what "EVS" means. At first, Toby seemed to have borrowed Ryan's hooded jacket costume but later on, he took off his jacket and showed off his hot bod to the audience. Well the world has seen him butt-naked runnin' around the mansion pool and all so not much of a *gasp* there. But I let out a *gasp* nonetheless ;-) I don't really like his voice coz he tends to get shrilly and annoying when he does high-pitch singing. He did well with Layla tonight, considering that it was the song that spelled the downfall of Jordis Unga in last season's Rock Star INXS. He cheated by lowering the note of that supposed high-note part of the song. His skin drums move thang with last week's Solsbury Hills was good though.

He spoke my favorite/memorable quotes for this week's episode:

"She's becoming Jill." Toby says with utter horror in his eyes as he & Lukas hear Dilana's lame attempt at falsetto which actually sounded like a tortured/howling dog. Or maybe a squeaky toy. (Lukas said, "I thought it was a howling dog. And I'm NOT even kidding.")

Seconds after he just performed, Supernova asked how Toby was doing . He was standing there onstage still shirtless, in all his beefcake glory, the ladies ogling at him. "Well now that the song's over, a little uncomfortable, actually!" (while sheepishly covering his torso)

RYAN "The Dark Horse" STAR. He keeps getting better each week. His original song "Back of the Car" sounded really good. He was so cute on the reality episode when he said he has never hit a girl in his entire life and he wasn't about to break that record with macho Storm challenging him to a boxing match for the right to sing an original song. Ryan's turning out to be a hottie at times, with all that intensity in his eyes and his voice. I just hope he does something about those dark circles and eyebags. Or maybe he can do his "Paint It Black" eye makeup again. But without the wig-hood thing please.

STORM LARGE, still pretty ballsy for a girl. She did an awesome version of Aerosmith's "Cryin". A damn hard song to sing but she managed to pull it off. I had no problem with her "I Will Survive" version last week. It had hints of Cake's rock version so it was pretty okay to me. I don't know why the guys hated it so much. Among the female rockers, I'm rooting for Storm.

LUKAS ROSSI, oh my gahd he actually sang! Well, at least in the first few lines of The Killers' song which I haven't heard of until tonight. I thought Lukas was gonna make Jason Newsted jump up and down with glee for "opening his throat" and "using his gift properly" but he reverted back to his gravelly/growly voice the rest of the song. As always, he is a great performer, but nothing really super duper spectacular so far. Bittersweet Symphony and Creep are still my fave among his numbers. (What's up with Patrice & Magni performing "Lukas songs" last week at the Bottom 3?!?! Patrice sucked with Celebrity Skin while Magni did a great performance of Creep. ) Anyway, tonight, Lukas did this unique shades-shakin' move I have never seen before. Totally innovative move! (Ryan Star's guitar thrashing was anti-climactic since Tommy Lee just mentioned the move minutes before his performance.)

He also kicked ass during the media interviews. This radio woman was being such an ass to every rocker interview she did and she pissed off Lukas. She was such an ass so Lukas was also an ass to her. As Jason said, if the media treats you with disrespect, you can treat them with disrespect back. A racoon eye for an eye.

Lemur King. Goth Smurf. Punk Troll. Whatever haters may call him. Lukas is still my man among the guy rockers.

MAGNI "The Iceman" magnifico! Always a consistent performer. During the earlier episodes, he didn't really wow me. But when he did an awesome unplugged version of When Dolphins Cry, he made me believe in his talent. His version of Creep is actually better than Lukas'. It's just that Lukas has never sang like that before, that's why he got more impact from doing that song. I got misty-eyed when Magni missed his baby's first steps and when he sang an intensely heartfelt rendition of Clocks by Coldplay with the last line "Home, home, where I wanted to go..." During this week's practice, he had the flu so he wasn't singing well at all but he amazingly crushed it with tonight's performance of Smells Like Teen Spirit. He growled and delivered the angst of the song.

DILANA, I no longer like her. These past few weeks, she started to be really cocky and actually more overly-confident-that-it's-such-a-turnoff than Lukas. She badmouthed Lukas and Toby during the media interviews. Well, for one, I dunno if any other rocker badmouthed anyone else, but anyway, editing really showed Dilana's bad side. I also hated how she OA-sold herself to Supernova when they were in Vegas. She was like "I'm gonna be your vocalist/I'm the one". Her greater-than-everyone-else proclamation in Vegas totally showed no class at all. I wanted to smack her with the bowling ball in the VIP suite at Hard Rock. The fact that she gets the bragging rights for being the very first rocker to sing with all three Supernova guys last week totally sucks. I am really starting to hate her by the minute. Her performances have lost it's appeal to me. She wore this horrendously large pink fake lashes which reminded me of a peacock and Dave of Bambi the deer.

Toby managed to trick her into running naked around the pool to get to sing Every Breath You Take. Toby didn't even want the song! He said he just wanted to screw over Dilana. Anyway, Dilana totally has ZERO sex appeal. I mean, Storm has sex appeal... Zayra has sex appeal... Jill had wh*re appeal... Well Dilana -- she probably has as much sex appeal as a toilet bowl. Anyway, Dilana has just subjected the unfortunate viewers to endless nightmares. The vision of her bare butt is so traumatizing that it will probably buy viewers years of shrink couch sessions. And helllooo Dilana, you can tell the entire world that you have a "hot body" over and over again but no one will ever ever believe it despite seeing your naked pool video all over youtube.

PATRICE PIKE, take a hike! I would have much rather had Zayra stay and Patrice voted off last week. Coz at least Zayra was helluva entertaining to watch. Patrice is just so repulsive. I have never liked any of her performances. It disturbs me how she looks like a cross between Alanis Morissette and Annie Lennox and she has this irritating wide smile while she sings. And I can't take another week of seeing her armpits. I swear. There's something wrong with the way she looks when she raises her arms and all I see is infinite armpits. I wish she get's voted off tomorrow. She doesn't belong there.


P.S. By the way, Gilby Clarke's little black dog Chopper was sooo cute! That poor dog's ears must have fallen off with all that amped up rock music.