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Thursday, June 15, 2006

~* ON EMO-MODE *~

'Just came home from watching The Lake House in Greenbelt. Hmm. I still like Il Mare better. I think what lacked in The Lake House was the emotional connection that the two characters had in the course of their letter-writing. Il Mare focused mainly on building up the relationship as they discussed stuff about life & love. I did not see how the two grew to love each other in The Lake House. Their "bonding" was so much deeper in Il Mare. However, it's nice that The Lake House also expounded on the father-son relationship. They made creative variations to the story but {WARNING: SPOILERS!} I wish they did not change the reason why Keanu's character died. The story behind why the guy died in Il Mare was much more emotionally-wrenching. And the blink-of-an-eye montage shots (whatever you call that technique) during the flashback in Il Mare was more emotionally affecting. The 'wine glass breaking/guy tragically dying' frame shots played on one's senses more. Nevertheless, there are two scenes from The Lake House which I loved: the scene wherein Keanu & Sandra were dancing/later kissing and the closing scene when they FINALLY "really" meet at the lake house by the mail box... 'loved the golden color of the scene there. Overall, I like the cinematography of Il Mare better -- how they showed the beach house against the sunset was just beautiful. On the other hand, the lake house was more of a glass house which looked elegant on some shots but frankly, my first impression when I saw it on the first few shots was Sleepy Hollow-ish. Must be due to the leafless winter trees. And hands down, the Il Mare mail box was so much nicer with that intricate design and all.

Anyway, The Lake House made me wanna buy Jane Austen's Persuasion. The way Sandra Bullock's character described the book made me think that it was just my type of read. By the way, it's out of stock at Powerbooks. Damn.

~oO0Oo~

"I am happy for the happiness ahead of me."

That's from Ally Mc Beal.

I wonder if it's possible for me to do that. I keep trying. But I am just not that sold with the idea. Coz I keep thinking: what if I am counting my chickens before the eggs have hatched? I think with all the crapdom I have been uhh blessed (?) to have experienced, suffice it to say that the lesson I have learned from all of them are the same: Don't go banking on great expectations. Don't go dreaming up those grand pictures of perfect bliss. Coz with great expectations comes great disappointments. 'nuff said.

~oO0Oo~

Just got reminded of this entry I wrote in my diary (yes, I still keep a real-life diary coz I miss literally writing down my thoughts sometimes) last MAY 29, 2006. I remember suddenly getting this thought when I was praying the Act of Contrition during mass:


I think I no longer fear the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. What is this
anyway? Is it not that I have already lost my heaven and I'm mourning in pain in
my own little hell?

Eww. That's probably the most emo thing I've ever written. Good gahd.

~oO0Oo~


I came across this presumably old episode of Oprah on hmm, Studio 23, I think. Her guest was James Blunt. He sang "You're Beautiful" and "Goodbye My Lover". Both songs were about his ex pala. Oprah kidded him and she wondered what James' ex would have said once she realized all those songs were about her. His last words were "she didn't mean that much to me really" with a sheepish smile and sad eyes. Aww.

And aww. Just watching James Blunt's live performance almost got me teary-eyed. I swear, his blue eyes were almost brimming with tears after he finished singing "Goodbye My Lover". I thought he was gonna cry right after taking a bow.

I loved You're Beautiful after hearing it a few times on the radio last year. I was initially a bit irritated with his ridiculously high pitch during the chorus but after a while, the song grew on me. I found the song so -- uhh, for lack of any other word-- beautiful.

As for Goodbye My Lover, I first heard & saw it on MTV. (Never saw the vid again after that. dang.) I instantly liked it and made a mad scramble to download it on Bearshare. Anyway, here's its very poignant lyrics if you're curious. Bring out your Kleenex.


Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.


I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.


Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.


I might as well have colored everything in aqua huh. Love is blind and that I knew when my heart was blinded by you. I still hold your hand in mine when I'm asleep. I'm so hollow. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been The One for me.

*Triple sigh.*


~oO0Oo~


I think I'm all emo coz I just attended a wedding yesterday. Don't you just almost cry too when you see the bride crying tears of joy as she walks down the aisle and when the groom cries too as he gives his speech during the reception?

Ahhh. There probably exists some kind of intense pure love out there that makes you cry your heart out in a good way. Wouldn't that be wonderful to have? Oh the almost impossible things we pine for...

*Sigh*

~oO0Oo~

Same frame of mind last Jan 2005. Mushy as ever. I am disappointed that I couldn't get to download Whistle's version of Right Next to Me. Instead, I am stuck with an R&B-inspired remake by Jed Madela. I wish he just stuck to the original melody of the song. The R&B flavor made it less hmm touching. Oh but I have Blaque's version. Nice but I sooo wanna have the original version of the song. It's just so scarce in Bearshare :(


~oO0Oo~
Wow. So half of the Moffats are alive. The twins are called Same Same. I actually like their first single "Love Isn't" Typical pop boyband mush.


Love isn't always as you see it
Love isn't always as you dream it should be
Love isn't always gonna find you


~oO0Oo~


It's 1AM. Why is it that when I'm all emo, I can't sleep? Dang. I sooo wanna sleep this off.

Another good song I like hearing nowadays:


Have you ever thought of nothing else?
As I wake up each day until the moment I lay my head on my bed
And as I close my eyes and cling to my pillow
Though you're miles away I still wait for the day that would never come

And I don't wanna wake up
Without you again, without you again, without you again
And I don't wanna wake up
Feeling so close, close to the end, close to the end... close to the end.

The stars are bound to die
It all makes no sense
I can't take the chance
I don't want to see you go, see you go...

~ Close to the End by Mojofly

11 comments:

Siaz said...

Is Jeon Ji Hyun the actress in Il Mare? She's also in My Sassy Girl yay!!! I wanna get this DVD!!

sybs said...

goodness, ate aileen.. the most emo entry ive read ever!!! im sighing with you right now.. *hugs*

ivahlicious said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ivahlicious said...

this entry made me cry, seriously. (i didn't read the bit abt lake house coz i haven't watched it yet)...it's like i could have been thinking and saying these things too... awww...i sooooo feel you...

i like james blunt's songs. they're just the ones that make you go crazy with sadness, longing, despair and other similar nouns, hehe. it's funny, he said she didn't mean that much to him, yet he made beautiful songs out of the experience. haha. someone's seriously in denial.

"There probably exists some kind of intense pure love out there that makes you cry your heart out in a good way." --- but not everyone finds it.

*quadruple sigh*

Anonymous said...

i've been following ur blog for some time now, and this is by far the most emo entry i've read... makes my heart bleed..
just been thru a rough break-up myself, and i too find comfort in james blunt's songs: goodbye my lover, tears and rain, cry, out of my mind... all killer songs in their own right. of course, i can't go on w/out my fave urbandub's classics like dissect, it's over, reveal the remedy, and endless, a silent whisper..
thank god for music that heals the broken hearts and the soothes the wounded souls..

~*lilacstardust*~ said...

MITZI: yup, i checked at imdb.com... she's the same actress in my sassy girl (which i don't like hehe. ano ba, wala syang ginawa kundi hampasin yung guy. duh.) and windstruck (i like this! i cried watching this one!). check out here imdb profile here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0432428/

teka, for the record, i only watched my sassy girl & windstruck coz my sister persuaded me to watch her vcds of those movies. [lol. defensive ba?!]

SYBS: weh. most emo ba?! aww. thanks for the hugs! *hugs back*

IVAH: aww, drama ba?! thanks for empathizing ;)

you should've seen that oprah guesting of james blunt... he looked so cute in a sad way when he said that. *sooo in denial*

ANONYMOUS: hi lurker! you're the 2nd reader to say that this has been the most emo entry i've ever posted. wow. *sigh* just one of 'em days. i hope that this too shall pass...

yup i agree with you... i subsist on "music therapy". thank god for music! some people would say that drowning myself in emo music won't help but no, not me -- i prefer a good wallow! ;P

ooh, u like urbandub too?! cool! 'endless, a silent whisper' & 'reveal the remedy' are on my current emo playlist ;-) oh, 'endless...' has a vid out already... haven't seen the entire vid though :(

charo said...

hi aileen! meron akong Persuasion! want to borrow?=) its one of my fave books ni jane austen. i've seen the lake house...kakaiyak!

Abbie eXcites said...

I agree with the rest! This is SO emotional. Can you believe that I HONESTLY did not read the rest of the post since it was so heavy??? :)

CHEER UP!

I like Lakehouse because it made us analyze BUT I don't like it kasi hindi sya EXACT SCIENCE! Hehe!

~*lilacstardust*~ said...

CHARO: ay sayang! i bought na the book last week eh... i saw some at goodwill bookstore ;-)

ABBIE: haha! hindi mo ma-take?! ;p we should watch a comedy the next time!

grabe, natawa ako, pati the lake house na-subject to our over-analysis! ;p

Anonymous said...

hi it's me again :) nope, i'm not a lurker... a stalker, maybe...
btw, u can catch udub's endless vid thru you tube, just search for 'urbandub'. i'm a long time dubista thru and thru, partly cguro coz gabby is a cousin of mine... as they say, blood is thicker than water di ba? :)
take care... and hope u're no longer wallowing in the depths of depression.. :)

~*lilacstardust*~ said...

ANONYMOUS: stalker? weh. mas nakakatakot ata yun kesa lurker! haha!

i finally caught the endless vid on mtv! wow, cousin mo si gabby?! cool! anyway, i'm a lurker in udub's egroups... well i'm just there mainly for the gig skeds/updates anyway.