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Thursday, August 14, 2003

~*Kiss The Rain*~

Isn't it sad that when you have so much pain in your heart, the only person you want to talk to who can stop your crying is exactly the same person who made you cry?

I was dancing
with your shadow
Slow down memories hall
I said wait
Have I been seduced and forgotten
You said baby, haven't we all

Now I don't like crying
Coz it only gets me wet
But I can't help failing
To remember to forget you
And I know it's gonna be a long time

~ Crying Like a Church on a Monday, New Radicals

You called yesterday
to basically say
that you care for me but that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to be feeling similarly
and led you to believe I was okay to just walk away
from the one thing that's unyielding and sacred to me.

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
coz I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise till I go home at night
and turn down all the lights
and then I break down and cry

So what do you do when somebody you're so devoted to
suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue
of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride
and sing I will survive
Do you lash out and say
How dare you leave me this way
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away?

~ Breakdown, Mariah Carey

This is chapter four. Chapter one lasted for 6 years. Two for about 3 years. Three lasted for a year or so. This one? I dunno. Will it end? Will it last? I'd like to know right now but I fear the answer... But fear is something I can probably overcome. Whether I like it or not. Coz it's better to hurt knowing the cold truth than to be blindedly hurt about something I was not given a chance to understand. However, in contrast, pain is something I simply cannot overcome in a snap. It'll take years. Again. Damn, damn, damn. I so hate this crap.

Can you hear me?
Am I gettin' through to you?

Is it late there?
There's a laughter on the line
Are you sure you're there alone?

Cause I'm
Tryin' to explain
Somethin's wrong
You just don't sound the same

Why don't you
Why don't you
Go outside
Go outside

Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone, too long.

If your lips
Feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn.

Keep in mind
We're under the same sky
And the nights
As empty for me, as for you
If you feel
You can't wait till mornin'
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain

Do you miss me?
I hear you say you do
But not the way I'm missin' you

What's new?
How's the weather?
Is it stormy where you are?
You sound so close but it feels like you're so far
Oh would it mean anything
If you knew
What I'm left imagining
In my mind
In my mind
Would you go
Would you go
Kiss the rain

~ Kiss the Rain, Billie Myers

Lots of things remind me. The rain, the crescent moon, the damn billboards, poster ads, newspaper ads every-freakin-where << ! >>, certain songs, certain people, the terminal, the shuttle, the food, chopsticks...

I knew it'd be like this someday
Turns out someday's not so far away
And now I'm falling down
I know you'd catch me but you're not around

So when it's all unraveled at the end of my rope
Would you burn it on the side?
And it won't be easy but I'll do my best
When it's time to say goodbye

~ Unraveled, Rockwell Ryan