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Sunday, August 03, 2003

~*SQUARE ONE*~


I'm back to square one then. After all that artificial bliss of watching Rockwell Ryan and Dain Samuelson perform, I am back to the normalcy of being depressed again. Dammit. This just makes me shake my head... How being depressed has been such a life-long unwelcome path for me. I would want to believe that I have become strong after every damn heartbreak that the world has dumped on my end... That at least there is some sane, divine purpose in all this crap I'm getting. But no... I can never be strong even for my own sake. I can never learn to be genuinely strong and pick myself up. I can only pretend to be brave about it sometimes. At the end of the day, when I lie awake at night, sadness always find me. I guess this is because I have always loved with all my heart -- and that is the tragedy I have to bear.


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