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Sunday, August 24, 2003


Is it all just wasted time?
Can you look at yourself
When you think of what
You left behind

Is it all just wasted time?
Can you live with yourself
When you think of what
You left behind

~ Wasted Time, Skid Row

I was supposed to write you a letter days ago, but I did not know what to write. I still do not know now. But heck, I have to write this friggin' letter and get it over with. *Ugh, kill me now, why don't you.*

And I'm doing this because...??? And my point was...??? For my peace of mind? Right. As if giving you these forsaken blogs will make a difference. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I honestly don't think this will magically make my life any freakin better than it is. Mmmm. Smell the burning sarcasm. Deeee-leee-shuz. Try it. I subsist on it everyday.

No, seriously, I am a mess. I'm just making an entertainment out of the suckiness of it all.

I do not intend to be mad. I loved you. How can I be freakin mad at you then? That would contradict my feelings now, wouldn't it. I feel bad about thinking you're a jerk. But hey, give me some credit. It was you who walked away, wasn't it?

Now I can't help but think... Why did I choose you over T2 then? He was so sincere. He so wanted to try again. He said the words I so wanted to hear. But why the freakin hell did I choose to fall for you? I'd hate to think I made a mistake but you made yourself be a mistake all on your own. I wasn't even judging you for pete's sake. But you made this sweeping decision to abandon me just like that. Now tell me if I don't have the right to call you a jerk.

So true
Funny how it seems
Always in time
But never in line for dreams.

~ True, Spandau Ballet

Sometimes I think there's not even a point to this at all. I have written too many words these past three months that I can't find any other words at all now. I am just risking to be redundant. Well, at any rate, there are no more words to say how I feel. I don't know what to feel anymore. You know I love you but I just can't take this. *Excuse me while I switch off my drama queen mode. LOL. Sorry, I did not mean to be OA.*

Coz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
Sorry, I can't be perfect.
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
Sorry, I can't be perfect.

~ Perfect, Simple Plan