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Thursday, April 21, 2005


And so it is just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
most of the time.
And so it is, the shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky...

~ The Blower's Daughter, Damien Rice


It was like a thorn off my side. I am glad we finally had an honest talk. He has grown up and he had such heartfelt, comforting things to say to me. And I have accepted and resigned myself to the thought that things just don't work out the way we want it to. That's life. He is happy now and I am truly happy for him.

It was pure emotional emancipation. Understanding and genuine forgiveness is very liberating.

Honey it's over now
It's harder now that it's over
Now that the cuffs are off
It's over now
You're free, you're free...
Free with a history...
~ Harder Now That It's Over, Ryan Adams

A clean break is easier. You can reset it, and it heals, and you move on, but if you leave things messy, and things don't get put right, then it just hurts... forever.

~ Little Black Book


Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY KILL YOU. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," IT SHOULD KILL YOU INSTANTLY. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid.

What is it about love that makes us so stupid?

~ Under The Tuscan Sun


As the cliche goes, what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger.

I do hope that what he said will become true for me.

Our paths have crossed in the past but now we must move in opposite directions. But I do hope that one day I can thank him personally for the lesson he has molded into my life. Things may not have turned out the way we wanted it to be but I shall not regret this certain point in my journey. Things happen for a reason, they say. He has probably found out that reason long before I did. And now, he has, in his own strange comforting way, have made me realize that things are probably really meant to be that way.


ivahlicious said...

"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it"

i like the line Free With A History. packs a punch... like a hard-won, lesson-filled freedom... i like it a lot...

it's true, forgiveness is the first step and sign of healing... you're on your way! =)

~*lilacstardust*~ said...

yes, i soooo like that ryan adams song because the lyrics is nice and it reminds me of Felicity & Ben's break-up (i'm a fan of Felicity)... download the song... it's reaaaally nice mush ;)

and yes, i'm on my way to healing for THIS specific heartbreak... there's STILL ANOTHER ONE HEARTBREAK to get over with (hopefully soon!)