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Wednesday, September 01, 2004


Is there such thing as a "happily ever after"? Or is it just bullcrap that you just see in the movies?

I just came from the premiere night of The Notebook at Greenbelt. Good thing 'twas released by Pioneer Films who were our client--they were gracious enough to give us tickets. *sigh* I was just saying the other day that I soooo wanted to see The Notebook coz I have read the Nicholas Sparks book and I loved it.

Hallmark was one of the sponsors and they were handing out these greeting cards to everyone who came in. "This is a mockery!" "This is an insult!" I exclaimed as I read the greeting card's cover: "For My Dearest... I'm so glad we found each other" OH PHOOOEEEY. %#%$! :P *Sorry, bitter beeotch alert!* :P

I liked the movie. I rate the movie in terms of whether I cry watching it or not. Eh I cried... so ergo, it is good :P Such a sob story, I swear.

As I watched it though, the first person that popped in my head was T2. Ahhh. Great. Now what does that mean? But then after the movie, on the way home, I thought of both T2 and TOWBMHTB. And then _______. I mean, what the crap does meeting _____ mean in the grander course of things? Yeah, I know that T2 really loves me that it pains me to think about it. But then I recall how free I felt when I was with TOWBMHTB. When does feeling like THAT ever happen again? Will it ever happen again or is it just a one-shot thing that the universe gave me? After something good passes or fades, am I to accept that it is gone forever? "But he did not come back eh...", I told Vic as I was talking to her about stuff. It was sad for me to hear the words that I uttered. But I have to be brave and forcibly accept that fact. So again, what is the point of me meeting somebody like _____ after such a crappy heartbreak? What? Is he like this bone tied at the end of the stick that a stupid dog can never reach? Another ITY? Is this like the grand act two of unrequited love? A cruel encore? I hate it then. I f%#$!ng hate that feeling. I don't ever wanna feel like that again.

So do men really fall in love like that (as in the movie)? Having met a lot of men and having heard so much about men, I can't help but doubt their sincerity coz sometimes, no matter how boy-next-doorish they seem to be, in the end, they all seem to think with their d*cks. Maybe if it weren't in their nature to be such uhmm manyaks, I would probably be less cautious. But I have seen how their mind works (courtesy of my self-proclaimed 'I'm just all bark' *yeah right* guy boss). Ahh but the way Noah was so patient with Allie in the movie is just so ahhh *sigh*. There are no words to describe the beautiful poetry that their souls make when they are together. *wow, where did that come from? shucks, nagpapaka-profound nanaman ako...*

Wahaha. I am probably just sour-graping. Oh f*ck it. Oh but I'd rather be bitchy than depressed. I think not believing in love anymore is a wiser choice than being idealistic and romantic and thinking that my soulmate is out there and that we'll find each other in time, that everything happens for a reason, that love will come when you least expect it, that true love comes to those who wait.... crap like that.... I'm sure you get the picture. Now if you are attached and reading this, do not lecture me and give me more bull crap. I have fervently prayed to God. I have read self-help books. I have pondered on the meaning of life. I have wished upon a star, upon visiting a church for the first time and all other crapdom. Been there, done that. I have set myself up for disappointment so that when the thing I fear most happens, there will be less tears, less pain.

Crap. So this is what watching mush does to me.

Gaah. I'm just blabbing. Don't mind me. I just had to vent.